Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If you teach your kids to put bagels in microwaves, I will not be responsible for the consequences"

• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• If you tolerate this piss then your bitter will be next
• I will always be weird inside
• Together, we will be the oil drifts under the sea during the next incarnation of civilization
• I will be hard and silver and pure without fear.
• The Teach Yourself to be a Dummy in 24 Hours Bible
• Spiral, spin, ride the whirlwind, knowing when the drumming stops, there will be no second dance
• It will be a hot day and these two ice cubes. We will melt, become one.
• Carl Everett
• There Will Be Blood
• if you take it too seriously i really will be just talking to myself
• We Regret to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families
• This love will be your downfall.
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• I am not wrong. I will not be mended.
• My RPG will be a work of art
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• This will be the hardest thing you ever do
• Men And Women Will Never Be The Same
• X is the Y of the future, and always will be
• Will I be allowed back in the building?
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• This is not a joke. It won't be easy. We will rule the world.
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• You will be assimilated
• In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes
• so that all her children will be adventurers in light
• It Will Always Be Here For You
• If you tolerate this your children will be next
• There will be nobody there to shed a tear
• Oh, oh, you will be sorry for that word!
• Marks which will never be broken
• And there will be whores and rumors of whores
• The revolution will not be televised
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• I will be your Berlin Wall, and I will never fall
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• Everything will be required of us, and everything will be given
• The television will not be revolutionized
• We won't die secret deaths anymore. The world only spins forward. We will be citizens.
• "Gathered together we will be", intoned Yoda
• life is short, life is shit, and soon it will all be over
• The sky will hold them. They will be an ocean apart.
• I assume I am a visionary. You will not be able to convince me otherwise.
• Someday my life will be interesting, and I will come back and tell you about it then
• the world will be remade in our image
• You never think it will be the ducks
• You might be a '90s kid if
• there will be a last
• What life after death will really be like
• Nothing new about Ancient Greece will be learned until the Vatican is plundered
• Some teachers shouldn't be allowed to teach
• I fear I will be nothing
• And it's one more good thing that will never be again
• Can the Circle Be Unbroken?
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• Someday we will all be crude oil and diamonds
• All scientific theories will eventually be disproved
• On the comet there will be much pie
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• I will be the first thing you will be thinking about after you wake
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Boys will be boys
• The strengths that opposed your will shall be obedient fire in your blood
• Oh sneff, will you be my cook, my thief, my wife, and my lover?
• I will be in my trailer!
• Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
• I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library
• She tells stories as if she knows what the ending will be.
• You will know your action. You are present there, not thinking of somewhere else you ought to be.
• Will the Circle Be Unbroken?
• Questions you will be asked when you study Chinese
• Someday, someone will be here unearthing my bones
• You will be a tear-stained diary entry, and it will have been all your fault
• I have a feeling it will be in my dreams
• Will you please be quiet, please?
• The Revolution will be televised
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• Someday, I will be strong
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• my promise is broken—words will never be over
• Please tell me it will all be okay.
• Soon I Will Be Invincible
• the road ahead will be bumpy
• Maybe even this will one day be pleasant to recall
• When I stop going there, I will be well.
• I will be light
• It will never be just you
• The zombie revolution will not be televised. But it will be tweeted.
• When night falls, I will be waiting for you
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• The sound of the violin will always be the sound of my disintegrating marriage
• It takes a man to teach a man to be a man.
• One Day I Will Be The Summer
• I am a stranger. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, and there will be a massive reward for you in eternity.
• Tomorrow will surely be much like today.
• Squids will be Squids
• eventually today will be bittersweet too
• It will be a love story ... for she will be my heroine for all time
• It will be good when I am leader
• In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned
• The war with the machines will not be fought on a battlefield
• You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
• This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum
• There will be time
• When will Linux be a good gaming platform?
• node that will be my legacy
• The Rock Revolution Will Not Be Televised
• False psychics in Florida will be charged with perjury
• Will I cease to be
• I will go. I shall go. I'll see where the end may be.
• Accept this, and your next breath will be infinitely sweeter.
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• We are aiming for the worst and it will not be that bad.
• all the cute guys will be there
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• This Will Be Laughing Week
• There will be time, there will be time, to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet
• Who Will Be There
• When we finally fall, it will be fast and sure
• To be this good will take Sega ages
• In the future, all turds will be perfectly round
• You will be wrong. Embrace it.
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• The end will be a sellout
• It will be in Georgia. It will be Taipei.
• In twenty years your favorite song will be playing in an elevator
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• Why Deeahblita will never be late again
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• Even the dead will not be safe
• Will warez and filesharing be the salvation of freedom?
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• If you behave there will be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers
• Pay attention, this will be important later
• Never give an order you know will not be obeyed
• The revolution will not be webcast
• This Train Will Be Taking No Passengers
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• These trains will be the death of me yet
• I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• All That You Love Will Be Carried Away
• Be careful where you put your laptop
• This poem can be put off no longer
• Maybe someday I'll be an M&M the color of your eyes
• In the future, hairstyles will be just like they are now
• The next life will be better
• There will never be another you
• Will the Atomic Bomb Ever Be Perfected, and If So, What Becomes of Robert Heinlein?
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• Will I be given that chance?
• Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them?
• She teaches a night class. Psychology 100, to be precise.
• I will always be in the details
• All will be devoured within the jaws of terrible time
• Questions will be asked...AND DESTROYED! BY ANSWERS!
• If it be your will
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• If the earth won't be still, than I will.
• There will be no more stories to read
• Survivors will be prosecuted
• Kid, be a kid
• Job applications with spelling errors will be thrown away
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• Everything will be alright
• When I rise it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks
• They will not be named!
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• My subconscious is much smarter than I will ever be
• throw them away; there will be individually-wrapped replacements
• I will be your young sinner
• non-standard analysis will never be mainstream
• One day, E2 will attain sentience. And I'll be there to see it.
• Anything you say can and will be used against you. (e2poll)
• When the log rolls over we will all be dead

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