someday, I might step outside
and disappear.
Never to be seen again

Lost amidst the trees,
or in tall grass

I'll sneak away at night
or fly away at dawn
stepping into the world

You won't find me at home
at my desk
working diligently

I will not heed your call
or hear your voice
having transcended need

I will remain mystic
unknown to many
cherished by few

already I leave in small ways
A break here
a pause there

I am contemplating my departure
from a world
I no longer understand.

I really hope that I’m not overstepping any boundaries here but I was sitting at home last night and decided to flip in three discs full of Van Morrison tunes and let them play at random. Maybe it’s a sign of fate that this was the first song to come on.

It brought many a tear to my eyes.

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won
as we sailed into the mystic

I don’t know if there’s a heaven and I’m pretty sure hell is reserved for only a select few but I do believe the human spirit is ethereal. I truly believe that once we pass our spirit lives on in the ones we loved and the lives that we touched while we were here.

Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
into the mystic

I hear many people often say that they’re not afraid of dying. As for me, I can’t comprehend that. Maybe it’s just my natural fear of the unknown combined with a couple of close calls that I’ve had along the way that instilled a certain something in me. I can only hope and pray that the next few lines Van belts out are the truest ones he’s ever written.

And when that fog horn blows
I will be coming home
And when the fog horn blows
I want to hear it
I don't have to fear it

I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I’ve ever been touched from the beyond. Maybe that says something about me and my character or maybe people just want nothing to do with me. I do think about my brother quite often though and the circumstances of his passing still sting some thirty five years later. I’m hoping that when I do go that I’ll be able to relate a story for the ages to those that I loved and left behind.

And I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And magnificently we will flow
into the mystic

I can only hope that when my time comes I face it with a sense of dignity and grace. That I’ve had a good effect on peoples lives and for those that I have sinned I hope that they can forgive me. Maybe that will help allay those fears I mentioned earlier.

When that fog horn blows
you know I will be coming home
And when that fog horn whistle blows
I got to hear it
I don't have to fear it

I’m guessing that facing one’s own mortality must involve a lot of soul searching. There must be so many things you call into question about yourself, the life you lived and what might lie in store. I sincerely doubt there’s one of those Soul Searching For Dummies books out there on the market to help guide you through your journey. Each individual must do as they see fit.

And I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will flow
into the mystic

I can’t help thinking that someone will be there to greet me at my journeys end. I hope that I’m there to greet the ones I loved when their journey is also over.

Come on girl...
Too late to stop now...

So grundy, if you can read or somehow sense this, you’ll know that you’re not forgotten. Drop us a line in the form of good vibes or sound advice every now and then if you get the chance. Maybe you’ll be the first one to tap on my shoulder and let me know that I’m screwing things up down here. In fact, it kinda dawns on me that maybe it was your touch that made this song first on a playlist of about thirty others.

Take some solace in knowing that Kevin is getting a lot of love right now from people he’s probably never even met and that’s a tribute to the both of you.

Hope to see you in the ether someday and we’ll do a kick ass version of Angel From Montgomery.



Whoa, there is a Soul Searching For Dummies out there. Leave it to the internet.

Lyrics courtesy of Van Morrison from the song of the same name recorded on the Moondance album back in 1970.

According to Wiki the song has been described as "another song where the music and the words seem to have been born together, at the same time, to make one perfectly formed, complete artistic element”

Much like the both of you.

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