Early in Final Fantasy VII, Cloud Strife, the protagonist of the game, uses this line to reflect on the lives of people in the slums of the dystopic city of Midgar. He says that the people can't choose their lives any more than the train can choose where it goes.

It is a simple metaphor, but it introduces one of the themes of the story, that no one is totally in control of what happens to them. Since it is snuck in at the beginning as a simple metaphor, it can't be said whether it is a statement of total predestination, or whether it just means that few people are in total control of what is going on around them. The story in Final Fantasy VII hardly has any real villains: in the end we see soldiers and agents controlled by corporate overlords who are controlled by a demiurge that in the end, may be totally unconscious to what she is doing.

In 2003, when war was beginning, I was burning inside with anger. I pictured the fools who started such things, marvelling at their amorality and arrogance. And now, two years later, I think that they are as lost and powerless as I am, and I picture them lost in their offices, possibly listening to the Creation Mass. There is no reason to be mad at anyone anymore. The trains don't run anywhere but on their tracks.

Repetition, beating inside my head at 2am, pretending to be
a thunderstorm
6am- shower-drive-work-drive-repeat

Again and again and again
It is your choice
Friends tell me, books tell me
I tell myself

This morning the alarm went off at
6 am
Morning came again and the process started over


Alarms were made to alert us to


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