It's too late to say you're sorry

thoughts followed by tears drenched in bliss

i needed to feel you, inside
i couldn't
i was lost and distant and trying
trying to find my way back

floating around in a sea of 
mismatched thoughts and 
wilting celery stalks
did you see me? i was waving

and then you found me (or i found you)
right there, beside the tree
the tree we met beneath
subconciously, reality fades to truth

knowing my thoughts before i do
it's creepy, crazy, intensely neat
watch me pretend that i could stop you 
if i wanted to


it's funny but his apologies
they sounded
             like    lies

and it's odd, but his smile
looked much 
            like a    scowl
                  
it's frightening but 
i see your
            face
                   in my dreams at night
not his 
(not anymore)
 
i've found security in your depth
did i dream 
              you
                    into existence?

i forget to breathe when you
            say
                "i love you"

because i believe it.

you've said things i wanted to hear once
things i thought i'd never hear again
i didn't want to.. 
it seems all i needed was         you.

"he took me by surprise with his words and his ways, and the sound of his voice is with me always, past the end of mortal days"

i smile now because i know, it's too late for him, it's too late to say he's sorry

words slip past, through, around thoughts, i catch them in my paper cup and put them here for you