Japlish

Some examples:

from a love note:

Dear Stuart; I have a thing to tell you. I noticed that I love you so much. My heart is full of you. I always think of you. So I want to be your special girlfriend. Can I be your special girlfriend? Please asssociate with me. I love you, Stuart. I hope you answer O.K. That's all of my mind. FROM Megumi.

why you should vote this node up

When all empty show happiness with virtually upvote that is most special to us.

from a soda machine:

Be fresh! Canned Beverage makes you refresh. We carefully did the best selection. They are outstanding among others.

from a car rental brochure:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

from a peppermint package:

Rheimint: the strong PEPPERMINT in globule form of long-persistent flavour refreshes and invigorates. Taken after meals, RHEIMINT will calm down the gastric nerves and enhance well being.

When you get chopsticks from cheaper Oriental restaurants, they often come in these little single-serve paper wrappers that have "helpful" instructions on the side. And by "helpful", I mean:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
please try your Nice Chinese Food with Chopsticks
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history.
and cultual.

BAMBOO CHOPSTLCKS
PRODUCT OF CHINA

Imagine a picture of a hand holding chopsticks here.

Tuk under thurnb and held firmly

Learn how to use your chopsticks
Add second chcostick
hold it as you hold
a pencil

Hold tirst chopstick
in original position
move the second
one up and down
Now you can pick
up anything:

After having spent sufficient time practicing, I can testify that with my disposable bamboo chopsticks, I am able to pick up anything.