Findings:

• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• I married him because he was not mean
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• It Was a Beautiful Day When Aunt Norma Died
• Jesus cannot save you. He cannot even save Himself.
• Would Jesus Christ give money to every bum he came across?
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• Jesus was not a reactionary reformer, learn your history bud!
• Jesus was a black man
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• Just how perfect was Jesus?
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• Jesus Was a One Beer Queer
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• Jesus was a Gay Black Hippie Jew
• He was found
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• The Revolution was Postponed Because of Rain
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• The time a thug punched my friend in the face because he could
• St. Lucia in This Guy When He Died, Man
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• More than he was willing to give
• The Dog It Was That Died
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• He Was a Crook
• Jesus died cursing
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• Jesus was a feminist
• After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!
• God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• It was a dangerous, stupid infraction and I deserve the ticket
• was jesus a mystic?
• Jesus was a Gay Black Hippie Jew (song only) (recording)
• Weak and stupid people manipulating other weak and stupid people
• The sexuality and marital status of Jesus
• some say he was never here at all
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• Because he feared the turn of seasons
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• He Never Died
• He died on a Sunday morning
• Because, perhaps she was cold
• At least he was gentle
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• he just died
• What is this useless broken wooden boy? He is saying stupid things, he is lurching!
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• All he left her was alone
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
• Jesus He Knows Me
• That's Just How He Was
• He Was Only Joking
• he was a punk poet himself
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• Loving Jesus for the life he lived
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• making certain he was touching her
• Jesus was Mexican
• I'm wishing Jesus was here again
• Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• Jesus I was evil
• Jesus was a reactionary reformer, just like Martin Luther in later years.
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• Last time I checked, Buddha was not just some lameass winamp skin for Jesus
• Jesus was a liberal
• No one older than twenty-five was stupid enough to take a job here.
• why the Cold War was a stupid idea
• Jesus was a revolutionary
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• Because he's the hero Gotham deserves
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Because I dig you
• Because I say so
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• I care because you do
• Because it's wrong
• I lost a chance at $40,000 because my mommy wouldn't let me sell my stock
• Just because Linux is Free doesn't mean Linux Software has to be Free
• Because that would make sense
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• If my mom doesn't let me play the violin because it's gay then ...
• time lost in life because of waiting
• Just because it's Usenet is no excuse to forget how to punctuate
• We smoke cloves because we can
• Because I needed to hear you over the noise
• I Like Bananas Because They've Got No Bones
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• Aliens look like aliens because they're human
• because it wasn't just the air
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• because I love skating bears
• I Had No Time to Hate, Because
• Because the suburbs lacked the proper elevation
• Because I love you
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• Shrug (Because of Me and You)
• Pity me not because the light of day
• They hate us because we're wonderful
• Because we are all real people, and none of us is innocent
• I do it because it hurts, and then even that is over
• Because I couldn't
• Because, you think, Maybe They Are Delicious.
• It’s not because of your unconventional ideas about sex. It’s because you’re fat.
• Because the gods that made them are gods no more
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• Because, not in spite of
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• I refuse to panic just because she's happy.
• I give blood because I've got it on my hands.
• Because I lived in Paradise
• You cherish this box because it once held your dreams
• just because you've forgotten doesn't mean that you're forgiven
• I ran from Iran because I slam Islam
• I say yes, because I believe in sailboats
• or because we are all Supermen living in the city of the future
• We love foxes because we killed the wolves
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
• Ignoring a leak because it's on the other side of the boat
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• Because I do not want to forget
• because I have given up any care
• because death is just so full, and man so small
• someone without tattoos clearly has a fear of pain, which means in the kitchen they are slow and useless, therefore the food is weak and empty
• It's funny because it's you
• because eventually you will see past my magical words and focus once again on the matter at hand
• A sad reminder that just because you are floating does not mean you are rising
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• Because she is unchanging, you are crazy
• She had incongruity for breakfast because she felt like it
• Important mainly because of the people in the conversation.
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• Two Things I am Compelled to Support because of One Thing I Strongly Believe In
• Humans exist only because opposites exist
• I reject evolution because it's heteronormative.
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• because it represents, better yet, it is

If you Log in you could create a "Jesus died because he was weak and stupid" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.