July 24, 2019

Hello, your friend Behr here. Today I would like to begin an experiment. In this experiment, I will be deferential to you and any companions you bring along. You will volunteer now for said experiment. You will do so by showing glee. This will be your time stamp signature when boarding the mother ship when our descendants face off to the death against the Borg. This will not involve us directly, but it will involve the creations of my presidency. Breeding pits will produce ALL our offspring and they will be fed raw human flesh (that sounds like a story Jet-Poop can write for this year's Halloween horror quest. Something to think about) from birth. Our armies will control all of the Earth. We will use Emerson Quiet Kool window type air conditioners from the 1970s to cool the Earth and put an end to climate change. The climate change denier supervan will have been destroyed. Africa will be mined. South America will be harvested for ALL its riches through strip mining and extreme overuse of fracking technology. We WILL own this planet by the time my presidency is done. Contribute to my campaign NOW through general delivery at the Utica post office.

Please come over and let me be deferential to you. It would please me. I have a spread of cheeses to put out when you arrive. Do NOT allow these cheeses to turn. Some already look "colorful."

This will require that you accept temporary lodgings with myself, Chopper, and future U.S. Vice President Chester Looney. It is a one room cabin way in the woods near Utica, New York, which you can look up on Google Maps, who pays me seven figures a year to endorse their products in my Pulitzer Prize winning columns on everything2.com brand website and affiliates. You will be changed by this experience in many ways. Your mental stability will have a razor thin margin between functioning and not functioning in ANY situation you face in life. Complete psychological breakdowns generally happen every two hours for thirty years after spending a week in a cabin in the woods with myself and associates. You will likely be missing one of your limbs afterwards. We will need it for the stew. In my America, we eat the weak and become stronger.

My friends.

I wrote a big long thing and deleted it for several reasons. Someone tried to take advantage of me, I didn't realize that this person was as toxic as they really are, and I don't want to dwell on the fact that going in to work on my day off was a mistake. Days off are good for people. They are good for everyone, and they are especially good for people who work more than forty hours a week. I don't know how many hours I work in an average week, and I need to learn this information. I get a base salary, but it isn't enough to live on, and that's a problem too. The majority of the time I like my job, and I'm probably better at it than I think that I am. I tend to be hard on myself, and I'm going to stop doing that. Considering that I haven't been there two months, and I've already sold two vehicles, that's pretty good in my opinion, YMMV.

Today I let someone rattle my cage a bit, mainly because I did not have a good boundary in place. Going forward I will have a new policy. If you are ready to buy a vehicle, I will come in on my day off. I've learned to become more assertive and speak more directly to people at my new job, and this has helped me. It's not a secret that sales people sell things, so I should feel comfortable asking for the sale if someone wants me to come in on my day off. While I was at work I read a post about recognizing the need to live your values or something along those lines. My days offf are for me. Because I did not value myself highly enough, my day spiraled beyond my control until I finally packed up my things and bought some snack type things at the grocery store so my blood sugar did not fall further. It's okay to make mistakes, I forgive myself. I know that I can better love myself and make my own health, safety, and time a higher priority going forward.

I could write more, but I need to get some sleep so tomorrow is a much better and brighter day than today was. Overall I maintained a higher semblance of calm than I would have thought possible given the circumstances, and I'm proud of myself for that. Learning a new industry takes time, I can be more patient with myself, and I can use the lessons I learned today to avoid this type of thing in the future. It's never fun to feel as if someone played you. I put too high a value on someone else because I am a trusting person, but I also failed to realize that if someone tries to squeeze in a test drive once, they will do that to you again because they don't value anyone's time, not even their own. Chronic lateness is an issue, and their chaotic schedule is not my problem. It feels really good to be writing this. I'm happy I have a place to write things. Out of my head, away from my heart, let the healing begin.

Xoxo,

J

P.S.