display | more...

Friend Behr is in the forests of Bavaria in 1878. I leaped into a treeherder so I could be amongst the plants and trees at the moment they achieved complete and total consciousness. They have also developed an interest in stamp collecting, a subject about which there is not much on everything2.com brand website, so new learnings need to be made available. Make it so. Do it. Do it now. Before all the stamps are gone and we just travel in time to bring each other letters and chocolates. Whitman's Sampler. Give one to your sweetie. Everyone else did in the 1970s. What are YOU waiting for? This will get you "laid" (Internet kiddie term) if you don't have too many pimples or a "malformed" genital selection. This is like a salad bar but stay away from the bacon bits. They are not recommended in the genital setting. So, when you are shoving your head forcefully into someone else's crotch like a battering ram for her pleasure, then you will feel what it feels like to be alive. Wear protection. Damage can happen. Some safety equipment is a good idea if it is a personal choice. Safety has no place in a commercial workplace of ANY kind due to the prohibitive costs which cut into business. If you like safety then I have just one thing to say to you, and I am saying this straight out, "Fuck you, jackass. Get your mind right."

I swear. Some people. They just don't get it. Eliminating ALL safety in the workplace will put an extra twenty bucks in YOUR wallet every month. Isn't that worth a lot more than peace of mind? Work needs to be a crapshoot. I like to make the odds 20:1 that you will survive the workday without a very serious injury that requires you be brought back to work in the body bag you have deserved since birth.

I am here to share my love with the trees, for I am a creature of pure and unadulterated goodness and kindness. If they feel my positive, happy vibrations perhaps they will see that not all humans are bad. I am glad I got to bring my laptop with me on this leap through time and space through the use and serious abuse of a "host body" that will render it completely useless to the original owner after I leap out. I've already beaten my kneecaps out with a hammer and put my legs in shoddy, homemade splints that fall apart as I walk through the forest. It is going to be hilarious when I leap out of this idiot's body and back into my own. I've done so many things to his body, not just the kneecaps, but I burned his nipples clean off and ate one of my ears. Hilarious. Quantum leaping is so much fun.

We can only hope.

My friends.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.