La Pica De Maynardo

Actually, I don't know what the official title is, or if there even is one. I've seen it refered to as both "La Pica De Maynardo" and "Maynard's Dick". I just happen to find the former slightly more poetic, and so will stick to that.

I consider this the first totally original Tool song they've released since Ænima, four and a half years ago. All the other tracks on Salival are live versions, covers, or segues without any actual singing. That is excluding, somewhat arbitrarily, "Divorced" from the Melvins last CD, because it wasn't actually released by Tool, and they weren't the only performers on it either.

Anyway, the song itself was allegedly written by the band prior to their "Opiate" days. I'd guess it was recorded more recently, however, because it was obviously recorded in a studio and therefore probably came from the same Ænima sessions that produced "No Quarter" and "LAMC". Lyrically, the song is reminiscent of The Gaping Lotus Experience, in that it's basically silly and, oh, it's about fucking.

The song appears on track 8 of Salival, shortly after "LAMC" concludes. It begins at 7:09 of the track.

it's all an open center
opens up and lets the wind lift him away
it doesn't have to feel the water
let's just embrace the feel like that
kinda like the way you're breathing
kinda like the way you keep looking away
would you like to glide on
slide a mile six inches and then climb on maynard's dick

theres a shyness found in reason
apprehensive influence swallow away
you seem to feel abysmal take it
then you're careful brace for sure
kinda like the way you're breathing
kinda like the way you keep looking away
would you like to climb on
climb on my six inches and go down on maynard's dick

took you out in the back of the toolshed
put it right on top of your forehead
took you out in the back of the toolshed
now you know what you're fuckin with...maynard's dick

Lyrics from toolshed.down.net.