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Ever wonder what a last thrill would be like? While going through day after day of drudgery, boredom, and lack of excitement, ever wonder how to get a good thrill?

I'm eighteen right now, and I wonder what's in store for me. There really doesn't seem to be much more to life except to put up with daily crap. College is just a bunch of more studying. It's fun for a while, but when it comes down to it, I have another four years of bookwork. After that I get to see what kind of job I can get after 22 years of education and life experiences. From what I can tell, most people don't like their jobs.

I guess I could get married, but from what I can tell, most people don't like their spouses. With 50% of marrages failing, there must be a whole bunch more that aren't in happy marriages and wish they could divorce. My parents marrage certainly went to hell and that ended when I was six. What's the point to devoting your life to just one woman if it's likely they'll dump me, or that I'll dump them, or even worse, get caught in an unwanted marrage.

I suppose I could pimp it and become a playa, but there really isn't much purpose to that except cheap sex. I might as well take my college education that I'll have in a few years, and spend all the extra cash I get from having a degree on strip clubs.

Some might suggest drugs is the answer, but if I get drunk, all I can think of is, "Shit. I'm drunk. Now what?" Same with pot or whatever illegal substance there is out there. For some reason, I don't get as much of a kick out of losing my mind as some others do.

Maybe I should become a drug dealer. An outlaw. Go kill someone and run from the cops. A car chase down the Los Angeles freeway would probably be a thrill, except I would never be evil enough to do that. Or maybe I just don't have the balls.

Then there are those monks who will pull buses or lift heavy objects with their balls. It's a show of how well they can concentrate and how well they have mastered calmness. I wonder if they get a thrill out of it. They spend their days meditating and learning how to concentrate better, but that just seems boring and a waste of time to me. Besides, I would personally find pulling a bus with my balls slightly painful.

After thinking all this, my next though is, what's the point? Do you ever think that? There really isn't any point. Should I try to leave some kind of lasting influence in the world? I wouldn't be able to make any kind of difference that would last 500 years. I could try, but face it, only a very few people manage to get their name in history books. But even then, so what? The people in history books are dead for goodness sake.

I guess I could have children. You know, help the over-population problem a bit. Raise and love some child before he gets to go spend the weekend with his mother, my ex-wife. And of course, while I would try to raise a morally right child, the ex-wife-bitch would probably just be buying the four year old brat a ton of gifts to win his affection.

So what now? Why waste time? I'm probably not going to make a big difference in the big picture, I'm probably going to get stuck with a lifetime of work that I hate, and I'll just be wasting some of the earth's precious resources while doing it.

So next in my mind comes stabbing myself with a butter knife. I wonder how that would feel, and I figure it probably hurts, especially if I break through the skin. A sharp blade would get through the skin easier, but it probably hurts too. The best way I could probably go, is to jump off an airplane with either no parachute, or a backpack that looks like a parachute, but really contains camping equipment. You know, like what always happens in the cartoons.

Then I think about it some more. An airplane is pretty high. I would probably get bored of falling for so long. I might scream and be thrilled at first, but after a while, I would realize that the end is near, and accept it. I mean, there's not really much I could be doing accelerating towards the ground at 9.8 m/s^2 from really high up. I would probably run out of breath after screaming for so long. I could take another breath, but what would be the point? It's not like I'm going to NEED that O2 in a few seconds. So falling to my death would probably get pretty boring too.

So I come to a conclusion. I would either find out seconds before I smash into the ground that I have Matrix like powers (then maybe I'll become evil enough to thrill myself for a while playing mean jokes on people), or that

the last thrill really isn't that thrilling at all...

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