Laws of System Failures

 As any system administrator (or hunchbacked henchman thereof) undoubtably knows, there are certain circumstances which, for whatever reason, aggrivate the god(s) of fate. In my brief time as an administrator's lacky, and bearer of the monitoring pager, I have learned a few of these circumstances. I provide them now for the sake of others.

Things that might cause a minor problem

• Meeting with a member of the preferred sex
• Seeing a movie
• Holidays and weekends
• Sleeping

Things that will cause a minor problem

• Meeting with your significant other
• Seeing an anticipated movie
• Setting the pager down while forgetting that it is set to "Vibrate"
• Listening to loud music while forgetting that the pager is set to "Beep"
• Being in a different room from the pager
• Forgetting that the pager is an evil, malevolent creation, forged in the deepest pits of hell for the sole purpose of ruining your life
• Bragging that your operating system is stable/secure/virtuous
• Thanksgiving and Christmas
• Sleeping while you're sick

Things that will cause a major problem

• Allowing the head system administrator to take a vacation or holiday, for any length of time
• Having any kind of sensitive moment with your significant other
• Seeing "Lord of the Rings" or "Star Wars"
• Replacing or draining the battery on the pager
• Taking on an enormous workload. The resulting error will have nothing to do with your work.
• Annoying the programming team
  note: the above is not the result of divine intervention
• Finishing moving large amounts of heavy furniture for a game party with your mates
• Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner
• Sleeping when you're exhausted