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I was thinking today on the bus about how when we were younger and a good Little Johnny joke was something to relish and appreciate and tell all your friends. I seem to have forgotten how much fun a good dirty joke can be and I think it says something about what my life has, or hasn't, become....

Here's my all time favorite "Little Johnny" joke. It's not nearly as dirty or offensive as some, but dagnabbit, i love it:

Little Johnny's in the den playing with his train set and his mother walks in and she sees him pulling the train to a stop and overhears him saying, "Alright, everyone who wants to get the fuck on the train, get the fuck on the train. Everyone who wants to get the fuck off the train, get the fuck off the train."

"Johnny! I don't know where you picked up that foul language, but don't let me ever catch you saying that word again, young man!" says his mother, who happens to be passing by.

A few minutes later she comes in again to check on Johnny and again she witnesses him stopping the train and saying, "OK, everyone who wants to get the fuck on the train, get the fuck on the train. Everyone who wants to get the fuck off the train, get the fuck off the train."

To which his mother interrups and exclaims, "I am not joking around, Johnny! One more time with that language and you are going to be severely punished, mister!"

A little while later she pops in to check on him a third time, and much to her dismay, hears him again saying, "Alright, everyone who wants to get the fuck on the train, get the fuck on the train. Everyone who wants to get the fuck off the train, get the fuck off the train."

"That is it!! You go sit in the kitchen in the corner where I can see you and think about what you've done! And don't you dare move or speak till I tell you to!" shrieks little Johnny's mother.

Two hours later little Johnny comes back into the den and resumes playing with his train set. When he pulls the engine to a stop he casually says, "Everyone who wants to get the fuck on the train, get the fuck on the train. Everyone who wants to get the fuck off the train, get the fuck off the train. And for the two hour delay, you can blame the bitch in the kitchen."

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