"More testicles mean more iron." - Lunch Lady Doris, "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"

Lunch Lady Doris is one of those characters from The Simpsons that we know very little about. She is the school lunch lady and the school nurse at Springfield Elementary School (having first appeared in "Lisa's Pony") and is one of the few characters from the school to have become a somewhat-regular, putting her a step above forgotten staff such as Mr. Largo. We know nothing of her past, her home life, or her hobbies (other than smoking, of course). What we do know about her is that she's a whiz with preparing low cost school lunches from virtually any ingredient, most notably gym mats (that contain very little meat), newspapers (that contain essential inks), Grade F circus animal meat (which includes some filler), vegetarian meals that consist solely of a hot dog bun ("It's full of bunly goodness," she claimed) or testicles. Voiced by and named for the chain smoking gravelly voiced Doris Grau, Grau died in December 1995 and after her death the character's voice was retired, much as how Phil Hartman's Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure were retired after his death. Her final appearance in which she actually spoke was in "Lisa's Sax", recorded in 1995 but unaired until 1997, but you may see her in crowd shots from time to time, present but silent.


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