Mantits Wikipedian

He comes for you
Like a thief in the night.

Although there is very little publicity about his antics, Mantits Wikipedian is the popular name given to a certain contributor to the Wikipedia website and a variety of other encylopedia-type websites. He is the one who goes in and corrects various entries when he finds factual errors. He does this silently, usually in the middle of the night, and asks nothing in return. He also never speaks to anyone, although this may be changing.

He is described by those who know him as a man of considerable height (estimates put him anywhere from 6'3" to 6'10") and weight (most figures seem to agree that he is in excess 300 lbs). His stature makes him an imposing presence and he is said to work as the assistant manager of a large bookstore when not combing through Wikipedia and other websites for factual errors.

His nickname, of course, comes from stories about how his breasts, his man breasts, demand constant support and are somewhere in the "D Cup" range. At work he is said to wear a bra underneath a very heavy shirt that conceals any obvious sign of the presence of the bra (such as straps and so forth), but at home he just lets it all hang out while wearing badly food stained old USFL football jerseys and hammering away at his computer.

The reasons he has been attracting notice of late has been an expansion of his activities, one of which involved him coming to E2 in order to correct factual errors in a variety of writeups and then angrily attacking the editorial staff here for missing the errors and for not allowing him the ability to correct them himself. His user name will not be revealed here (he doesn't call himself Mantits Wikipedian, by the way). In a recent outburst he told a certain editor that he did not have time to message individual users and wait for a response on their corrections. This was followed by a threat of bodily harm to any who might refuse to make corrections.

He has also spoken of making a note of upcoming E2 gatherings and then showing up in order to challenge those who make errors, and those on the editorial staff who do not catch them, to manly games of physical prowess. He does not seem to be kidding. He does not have a sense of humor. I mean, he is from Wikipedia, after all.

My advice to noders is to go back through your writeups and check your facts. Mantits Wikipedian is coming and he may be coming for you.

Update: New evidence has been found documenting his original incarnation at Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mantits
Apparently, from what I can gather, he did originally use the Mantits name and then changed it after being banned from Wikipedia for inappropriate choice of user name. The names he now works under remain a mystery.

As the award winning author of two very important pieces of modern literature, There are not enough cows (2017 Pulizer Prize for Literature) and Tight buns (2007 Nobel Prize for Literature), I have been selected from many candidates to write the screenplay for the upcoming feature film about the life of Mantits Wikipedian. I am encouraged by this as it shows Hollywood is still open to us conservative types and hasn't become as narrow minded as I feared. I am encouraged. My friends. All I have ever done is sought to heal the world through the use of mandatory work camps for the poor and people who aren't easy on the eyes. I am a good person.

My screenplay begins with the first time Earl Bannon (not his actual name) sat down in front of a computer terminal in the 8th grade and popped a woody. He also enjoyed eating fried chicken, pizza, and entire jars of condiments along with cake mixes right out of the box (a habit that got up to 10 a day at one point - and he washed it all down with cough syrup because he was out of milk). This will be part of a musical montage which shows the passage of time through items consumed liberally.

This leads to weight gain and a loser lifestyle where he goes to a job where he makes boxes and puts items inside of boxes and then puts them on a conveyor belt. He doesn't talk to anyone and looks disparagingly at his co-workers and talks to himself very loudly in the break room about action figures and comic books and knowing more than anyone about everything. He injects himself into conversations, in between stuffing his mouth with rich creamery butter, overruling all persons by acting like he knows more than they do. And he does, because he is a conservative in the Bible Belt (making him a good person at heart).

No one likes him and Mantits is fine with that. Earl has adopted the name they called him to make fun of him ever since he grew breasts. A mysterious estrogen inhaler was substituted for his regular inhaler because he has that disease where you need an inhaler for shortness of breath (more for the work camps - deny them this liberal medication and work them 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, I say). He has developed an online life on the Wikipedia website and shops mostly on Amazon and demands boxes be left and a text be sent to notify him. NO KNOCKING because he may either be (a) eating many desserts and he is really into it sexually, (b) playing intense video games involving violence and knowing more about shit than other people do, (c) Watching his neighbor lady shower with binoculars.

His breast growth is phenomenal. The pharmacist was playing a bit of a joke on him over the years, but the pharmacist, it turns out, was taking money on the side for testing this estrogen inhaler (a product not on the market because of its dangers). This is a twist in the plot. This writeup contains spoilers.

The money I am getting paid for writing this script is enough to buy sixteen of the Six Million Dollar Man. I will tell you that. Money is what makes the world go around, Businessmen. Enough said.

This will be an intense movie with an alternate ending (I was paid an additional 12 million to do this). I love making real money as an author. Over the years here on this website it has come to owe me well into eight figures for my work based on my usual rate of pay. That is as far as Hollywood and that street in New York City where they do all the writing and making a lot of money doing it. Publising I think it is called? Might want to look that up.

I am looking for very weighty actors to play the role of Mantits Wikipedean in the next year or so. Check back if this gives you reason to behave like a cat in heat without making the noises cats make when they discover a mate (you have to be discrete with all the "talk" going on these days).

Thank you.