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If I could just live in a world where my definitions of things where always true I would feel much more comfortable about my grasp of the English language and life in general.

When I first heard the words "Mosaic Law" I heard them only as a passing reference during a converstion, no real context as to what Mosaic Law actually is. In my mind bloomed the Mosaic Law. A beautiful picture of life, the universe and everything, starting out as one simple piece of a mosaic. One color. One shape. And then two colors and two shapes. And then more. And at first it seems like chaos, an impossible mess of shapes and colors and sizes and textures, but then you finally step away and you see the picture....In my mind, the Mosaic Law was the answer to everything. It was how life was created, minerals and animals, it was how society was structured, it was computer programming and red blood cells and sunlight through new green leaves. Everything starts small and builds up. And it seems random. And you don't see the hidden image until the very end, when you realize there was a plan.

For me, as an atheist, this idea was terrifying and exciting. There is a plan, I just don't see it yet. I have never been the kind of angry atheist who is so afraid of religion they have to argue with every single person they know who is not an atheist. I have always felt that one day, maybe, someone would say the right thing, or something would happen and BAM, I would see the light. And if that day came I would welcome it. Enlighten me. (Maybe I would be more aptly called agnostic, but that always sounded so wishy-washy to me.)

I recently figured out what Mosaic Law actually is. The laws of the Jewish people as given to Moses by God. Over 600 rules and regulations, including the famous ten commandments.

I prefer my version.

He was not my boyfriend, so I'm now unsure of what to call him now that he's... more not. When we were... thingy... I referred to him variously as my "gentleman companion," my "male consort," and my "umfriend."
umfriend n. Term one uses in public when introducing a person with whom one is intimate, but with whom one has not yet discussed relationship status with.
ex. "Mom, this is my... umfriend... Josh."
I feel that I should acknowledge the no-more-ness of our umfriend status, somehow. But to call him my "ex" implies the -boyfriend that he never was. It would feel wrong to say ex-lover, since we were never in love. He is still a companion, still a friend. But no longer a consort. I am at a loss for words. Perhaps, in honor of the infinitely cliched way he put it in his email, he is now my "justfriend."



Now I just have to ignore the fact that he hugs me a little too long; finds excuses to kiss my cheek.

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