Today
is Happy Mother's Day to me and billions of women who have endured
pregnancy, birth, and know the joy of simply holding your child. Some
mothers are raising their own children, others are raising children born
to other parents. I'd like to salute them all, even the bad ones,
because it isn't an easy task, and everyone deserves at least one day to
celebrate this role whether they like it, or are frustrated by the many
challenges it presents. Yesterday I took my youngest to soccer. I have
been to colder games, but I can't remember being at a windier one. It
was so windy the blanket covering me might as well not have been there. I
was so glad I had brought my warmer jacket although I had also grabbed a
lighter one, and I was annoyed at my daughter for refusing to wear the
jacket under her uniform. I gave her my gloves, she wore her sister's
hat that she had left in the car, but by the end of the game she was
crying because her left hand was white from lack of circulation.
At home I wanted her to take a bath. She said she would, then she
warmed up and decided she didn't care for one. For breakfast she had
wanted apples and peanut butter which I found sitting out on the counter
virtually untouched because she doesn't care for red delicious apples.
Some friends of mine were talking about why people hate hospitals. I
jokingly said I wanted to open a bar in one, my friend said I would make
a mint, and the food and atmosphere at hospitals has bothered me for a
long time. It's hard to find good food, especially if you have dietary
restrictions. I know I could run a restaurant. I'm not sure I could turn
a profit if I did. I have this vision, I've put menus together in my
head, there's an abandoned building down the street next to a park, and I
think it would be the perfect location for what I have in mind which is
a place that serves juice, smoothies, and salads.
I think people are afraid to serve their children nutritious foods,
and I think a way to handle that is to make tasty food fun and appealing
to children without offering them junk food as an option. Even if I
served apples with peanut butter, that would still be a huge step ahead
of what other concession stands are serving. I've had enough children
over to see how herd mentality can work in your favor. If you get a
child or two who will eat mango chunks or devour canteloupe, other
children are more likely to try foods they've rejected in the past. Just
for fun I made some carrot juice. I cut up some broccoli stalks, paired
them with melon, cucumbers, and garnished the juice with a slice of red
pear, for me presentation is an important part of anything I serve, and
it was pretty until I spilled the juice over my countertops which is
also a part of restaurant work because inevitably, someone will spill
something.
Yesterday someone I know suggested I go back and reread what I've
written in the past. This is something I almost never do, and I'm not
sure why. I was reluctant at first, then I saw an entry where I wrote
about buying the purse that I still have today, and it was shocking to
realize that it's been five years since I purchased it. I think I spent a
hundred dollars on the purse, so far it's cost me about twenty dollars a
year. It's still in decent shape although it needs to be cleaned again.
I read about my children being much younger, and today, I'm really glad
I have those memories because I've forgotten so much of the past. I
wrote about working at the shoe store, and getting called in when I
didn't want to work. I read about being sick and missing my trip to
California, that was tough to read.
I wrote about my adventures in starting a gluten free diet. I had
forgotten what a struggle that was at the time. Today I take the
knowledge I have for granted. I also read about wanting to lose weight,
going swimming with the girls, and an interview for a job I didn't get
that I probably wouldn't have liked anyways. Some of the posts I wrote
could have been written by me today. I have a lot of the same themes, it
was depressing to realize how little has changed for me in the past
five years although I think if I could go back, and put the two times
side by side, I would see that more has changed than I realize. An
interesting item I came across was where I had written about Twitter
being a source of inspiration. I don't even remember being on Twitter
back in 2011, but the words are there, so I must have. When I read
about the prosthetist who had sent me an email, I remembered interacting
with him. I wonder if he is still working in Bolivia, and wish we had
kept in touch so I would know what is going on with his program.
Knowing who to follow on Twitter is a guessing game. I'm getting
better in some aspects, but I still need to go through and clean house
because I'm following a lot of people who don't interact with me, and
what I want out of my followers has changed. I've outgrown certain
followers, and the people I want to be interacting with are getting lost
in the shuffle. I never did do my yoga DVD the other day. I'm a person
who does better when I take classes. I think that stems from being an
auditory learner, and having the ability to ask questions, and have
people point out what I'm doing wrong. I find it fun to take classes, to
meet new people, and to draw support and encouragement from those
around me who are going through some of the same things, and those who
have stories to share that I'm unfamiliar with.
The other night I stayed up late writing, this is almost always a bad
idea, but I haven't learned how to step away from my keyboard when my
thoughts stop making sense. I'm addicted in a sense, writing is not bad,
but breaks are not bad either, and I'm sacrificing some opportunities
to become better, and do more of the things I want to be doing because
I'm so focused on the story line. I added more about a character I
haven't done much with in the past. He's a dermatologist who falls in
love with a girl who is seventeen years younger than he is. He isn't as
extreme as some of my other characters, he has a good sense of humor,
and I wonder if I'll ever meet him in real life. I sometimes meet people
who are like my characters, it's strange when it happens, it gives me
hope, and it makes what I've written seem worthwhile, and larger than it
is right now.
The other day I read something that said, 'I was tired of the way I
was, so I decided to change, just like that'. I can change some of the
things in my life that I don't like. The summer is coming. I will no
longer have a job, and I could talk to my boss again, but I'm not sure
what I should be doing, or what I want to be doing. In the past, the
girls have been involved in summer school and other activities. This
year, we haven't signed them up for anything, and I'm wondering how
that's going to be. I see an opportunity for us to spend a lot of time
together doing things like going to the zoo, taking nature hikes, and
getting together with my sisters or other friends that we have. I also
see a wasted summer spent in front of the TV or computer. The iPad and
Kindle make it easy for my girls to get screen time when I'm not aware
that that's what they're doing. They play games, and can spend hours
with Lego Harry Potter.
Our family needs to work on the concept of moderation, I don't mind
if the girls enjoy some screen time, but I'd like that time to be
available to them after they've done their chores, and have gotten some
fresh air and exercise. I've read a lot about the dangers of being
sedentary, and that's not a lifestyle I want for anyone although I
realize that it takes a concentrated effort to change, and I haven't set
the good example that I should have. Right now I subscribe to a service
that tells me who has unfollowed me on Twitter. It's usually an
unpleasant read for me, especially when I lose people that I thought
were friends. Sometimes it's a relief since I don't like everyone who
follows me. Sometimes I care more than others, but it's probably worth
the effort to go through and clean my follower list up again.
I drank a lot of tea yesterday, and by tea I mean peppermint,
parsley, and lavender with camomile. It's been a while since I enjoyed
those flavors, and I'm getting better about going into the kitchen and
assembling meals out of whatever we have on hand. I think we are wasting
less food than we have in the past. My grocery dollars are more and
more going to foods I approve of and places who are owned by people
whose visions I want to support. I still want a garden, I'm going to
investigate what the hail storm did to my raspberries, and I'm praying
that the damage was minimal. I want bright sunflowers like I used to
have along the fence that we had to tear down. My aunt is giving me some
plants, I talked to her about where I should put them, and I feel
better now that I have more information, and a plan.
There's a lot more on my mind, but I want to take a bath before I
start getting ready for church. Take care, and I hope you have a wonder
filled, peace rich day.
P.S. If you have old journal entries or daylogs that you haven't read in a while, set aside some time to read them, seriously, just do it.