Welcome to today's edition of random thoughts. The girls are being
very silly today. They probably won't be ready to go when my husband
leaves, and I'm in no hurry to get them to school because they are
consistently disrespectful of my time, and the time of others. Maybe a
few days of being late to school and having those consequences to deal
with will help them recognize that it's nice when respect is given so it
can be handed back in an appropriate manner. I stayed up late last
night. And today, I'm okay with that. I stayed up later than I wanted
to, but I'm in a good mood this morning, and I decided something
yesterday. I'm going to stop being so hard on myself. I've done many
things that I'm pleased with recently. I tend to be a person who holds
things in, both joy and pain, and I want to recognize that I need
outlets for those things, and work on ways to give myself more
acceptance.
Yesterday the girls made me eggs and grits. That's not a bad meal,
but I didn't feel very good after I ate it. Today I'm going to go
grocery shopping. I'm going to be more meal centric when I hit the store
today, I want a larger variety of foods in the house. We eat a lot of
fruit, I'd like to balance that with more veggies. Last time I went
shopping, I bought a large container of baby spinach. Several times
I've served that as a salad base, and for the most part, the girls have
eaten it with either no or minimal complaints. I tend to build things up
as larger than they really are, and I'm going to try putting things
back into perspective. My youngest is crying now because she wasn't
ready to leave by the time her sister was. I puttered around, taking my
time to delay until I was sure she would be late. She sat on the couch
crying, and hopefully this will be the lesson she needs.
Got an update from the soccer game this past Saturday. Coaches are
frustrated because the wet fields mean we haven't had much practice
time. This week my oldest has a game on Thursday which is a make up
game. Unfortunately, she also has a band concert she needs to attend.
Next year I am not playing for her to be in band. This is the second
year in a row we've wasted our money, and I'm kind of upset with myself
for believing her when she said during the summer that she would
practice and have a good attitude. I think that dropping out of band is
something she's going to regret later on in life. I didn't practice when
I was her age. I dropped out of piano, and wasted money my parents
didn't have, and I regret that now as do other people I've spoken with
who did similar things.
Going to keep this short, I have a lot of things to do today. Today's
goal is to just be comfortable with who I am, imperfect in many ways,
but accepting of some limitations, and hoping that not being so critical
of myself will improve my overall self image and confidence.
Best wishes,
jess