No
pretension or
pain to be had here. The only thing I wish was that my nap hadn't taken so long and I had had a chance to curl up on the second floor, maybe on a couch filled with kitties, and just
dozed watching a movie. And not talked or disturbed the stillness of this night. If tonight could breathe, it would be the softest
snore of one dropping off to sleep, a big difference from the held breath of the last six months. Or even of the last two and a half years.
Last night was soft and jive, regardless of the concrete and the fumes surrounding all of us. GroundControl showed me his shirt with a skull and crossbones on it, with one word, 'everything', written on it. I said simply, "I could have sworn I had the night off.", and laughed. Happy Birthday, MonkE.
Lord Bear was off larping this weekend, doing what he truly enjoys and is the part that keeps him a little boy. Tut, tut....it looks like rain, Bear. Hope you had fun.
Griffin had finally looked beyond his own writing and had seen what he meant to me. The phone cut out on us three times yesterday as we spent two hours talking. He brought it all down to earth finally, and saw that all I wanted was for him to see eye to eye with him. Four inches taller, four years older, but he can tell me I have green in my eyes as well now. Brother, your sister only wants to look out for you. Yes, I will always be there.
Came home from work today, only to find out that Satyr had had brunch with Grrmly, and that if I wanted him to take the pictures for E2, I had better call him. Called, and he was waiting. Showered, ate, walked the two blocks. The dogs were very well behaved, and they recognized me this time. I showed him what the pictures were for and he was so gung-ho about it, we're setting up an account for him on E2. See, I ain't no dumb broad, I just play one at first. We found a window in the rain that has threatened the Baltimore sky for days now, and snapped a few shots in the alley behind his apartment. I was frolicking in the ivy, and well, you should see the pictures by Wednesday.
I've got to get them run by tomorrow night so he can develope them......I hate pictures of me, but I figured it was about time to get a few taken properly. Griffin said the one he liked the best to date,were the ones Rae-Rae took of knarph and me two years ago. Everything was calm and fragile between Mike and me. As it should be, I think we're determined to be friends. There are so few people to really trust as friends. So, for the record, nothing happened, we enjoy each other's company, and I booked it out of there after an hour, swimming through the dogs as I went. This is how I want that to stay.
Speaking of friends, there is a soft glowing orb called love no-matter-what hanging in the air. And that is extended to everyone. I have no idea what the future holds, but as long as I don't have to let go of anyone, I will be happy and of course survive. Clean slate, forgiveness, and a lot of hard work. So little room in the space between, so many personalities. Flip it around until it fits, you know? I love you. If nothing else, that is what I have to start with. But that's really quite a lot, don't you think? And it's the real stuff.....I have proven that much.
Clarity and contentment are in my heart while ideas are being spawned in my head. I am willing to let things happen now, and I have the patience to see them through. Please have some patience with me, because I am quite changed and I am unsure of this new soul and how it works.
All soft and girly on the outside, but I have graduated, and I really am just one of the boys. Night guys. Sleep well in your attic, your basement, your floor and your single bed. My cot is calling my name.