Well it looks like I still have some way to go before I'm fully to grips with Licq, I managed to deny a couple of requests this morning by accident. Thankfully it keeps a nice log of all the system requests so I was able to email them and request that they resend the request.

Got to work and learnt how to navigate the logs for out email server at Star Internet (I mentioned yesterday that they have set up a separate division to sell their anti-virus software because it managed to capture the love bug without any updates.) The logs are very pretty, but not very printable. Oh well, you can't have everything.

Took a look at the downloads for Office 2000 SP1a Administrator update, and decided that 200Mb was a little too much for out ISDN line and we would wait until the next issue of TechNet.

BluePrintVert spent the day working on his website. He came up with a neat JavaScript `Ask the Mystic Monkey' that would pick a random answer to questions you ask it. It came up with some astonishingly accurate results:

Will dorward every work for Microsoft?
That is a sinful question visit {a href="www.thepope.org"}this site{/a} for absolution.

Will dorward every shut up about linux?
You may find this hard to believe, but YES!
(I do find that hard to believe!)

Will k quit his job to become a full time DJ?
No, unless today is a back holiday, in which case, Yes.
(k is spending a couple of hours each morning presenting the breakfast show on a local charity radio station, starting Bank Holiday Monday.)

Will m ever get the pay rise he deserves? (The monkey avoided answering by asking m out on a date)

Will BluePrintVert ever move out and stop living with him Mummy?
No, not a hope.
(On going office joke, BPV is going to move out as soon as he has saved up enough money, but he keeps buying computer upgrades knocking his bank balance back down low.)

Having seen the results I promptly rewrote it in Perl, I need the practise, and uploaded it to http://dorward.netfirms.com. Please feel free to try it out, the site isn't quite finished but the script is going fine. BVTs original (and ruder) version should be on his website in the next few days, I'll announce it when the time comes.

Part way through the rewrite I went to the hairdressers and had about two thirds of it cut off. I was disappointed that it wasn't cut by `the girl without a bra and with a tight tee-shirt'. She is the Dimmock of the hairdressing world.

Finishing off the Perl Script kept me so busy I missed my bus, so having an extra hour I helped k build the new server. For some strange reason he wants to put Windows 2000 on it for testing. I doubt I will be able to talk him out of it as head office wants the entire company to migrate to it over the next year.

Not much else to report, watched half a movie then gave up as I remembered the ending. Sent a few files to Mike who had managed to lose his copies in a system crash. And I am now downloading skins for Licq.

What I meant to do:

  • Get hair cut (this time for sure); YES I did it! Finally!
  • Really finish disciplines section of the database;Tomorrow, I promise
  • Get to Chap 6 of Sams Perl book;Not yet, although I might this evening, but I did code Ask The Mystic Monkey
  • Put more free webmail accounts in the blacklist.;Well e2 managed to produce a nice little lot, haven't inputted them yet though
  • Sort out homepage;Out of time - again. Oh well, I did set up http://dorward.netfirms.com

Everything Day Logs
Yesterday | Tomorrow

Everything Snapshot

Time: Tue, 23 May 2000 15:03:47 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) mod_perl/1.21
Number of nodes: 528765 (1566 new since May 23, 2000)
Number of users: 14846 (47 new since May 23, 2000)
Number of links: 1629062 (17738 new since May 23, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 35.617 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 3.081 links per node
Link to user ratio: 109.731 links per user

New Nodes: Users Online (34): [Jet-Poop] [dannye] [sensei] [yam] [Kit Lo] [ukyoCE] [hamster bong] [Orange Julius] [coby] [ophie] [Jinmyo] [Stride] [DaVinciLe0] [ShadowNode] [Electricsound] [kamamer] [davidgentle] [heropsychodreamer] [Asfodel] [m1a9366b] [BelDion] [mcSey] [moa] [Doremus] [urbanmisfit] [gnarl] [untergeek] [Pyro] [Ninja-Lad] [Dave!] [Johnny5D] [Enzondio] [scarecrow] [Bill Dauterive]

JeffMagnus node count: 3671 (1 new since May 23, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 6107 (4 more since May 23, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 1.664 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.695%
JeffMagnus node of the day: Everything 2 Civil War

<< week | May 22, 2000 | May 23, 2000 | May 24, 2000 | week >>

Everything's Best Users Snapshot

Users                  XP wa7 inc   l_XP l_wa7
Pseudo_Intellectual 11931 188 163  11768 192
dem bones           10813  94 128  10685  88
jessicapierce       10651  84  29  10622  93
DMan                 8243 161 153   8090 162
pukesick             8159 101  17   8142 115
Saige                7612 122 131   7481 121
EBU #50              2492  66  13   2479  75 

Server time: 02:42 Tue May 23 2000 

l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

Random Nodes

DMan zooms past pukesick who sportingly give way.
I am quarter way through offline noding on a translation of the Quran, and uploaded first 40 chapters.

Nodes to node

What will happen when server time rolls to the 23rd of May 2000 again ?? Note that the current time is 1348 UTC and and the date is May 23rd, 2000. Note the date stamps of the above messages.

Server time: 23:45 Mon May 22 2000

I'm going for a coffee and smoke. Hopefully, I can vote when when I come back.

Update around 1705 UTC: A few hours after my smoke'n'coffee everything is back to normal.


Update around 1715 UTC: Something funny about 404 not found and index.pl
Just after this nodes appeared but the were empty, mere nodeshells. By 1720 UTC everything was ok again.

I see that someone broke Everything, or at least its time system. Amusing.

Perhaps the time thing is just another manifestation of the fact that today is going to go incredibly slow, one of those days that ends up being like two days long, at least in your perspective. You see, today I go, right after work, and get the keys to my new apartment. My new, nice apartment, two stories, washer/dryer, and all sorts of goodies, and it's nicer than where I am now. And I am so anxious to get over there that I'm going to watch time creep by like a snail, no matter what I do. I just sit and wait, wait for that clock to reach 5 pm, and get out of here.

I realize that I'm going to be next to useless here at work, which would be a problem if there were anything important that I were working on, but it seems that I'm not, at least at the moment. If it's like yesterday, nobody would even notice if I weren't here. It's got it's good points, and it's bad points, of being that way.

Well, I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty sparse around here for the next week, moving and all. At least I hope to have DSL in my new place, as soon as possible.

I'm sitting here feeling half upset, and half relieved, seeing the parts of Everything that are broken today: I can node, and no one will know what I've written.

Not such an earth-shattering thing, I suppose. Ordinarily, I would put noding more or less at the center of my day--writing, posting, reading, voting.

So far today, I've gone shopping at the local Mall--and proved the genius of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.. A rule he made, or should have made:

If you are not in a hurry, there will be no lines; but if you're trying to get things done, there will be a line in front of you. You push them in front of you as you go

Now I'm back here, noding about my day not yet begun, and bugs on Everything

Ha, this is funny: http://www.joecartoon.com/new/superfly2.html

It seems that the iguana that ran away a while back has been living in my wall and has now resurfaced. I'm not sure what to do about this. He won't come out far enough for me to capture him but I can't just let him live in the wall. This is an odd situation indeed.

Grr, Dell's online store is down and I need to config/buy a laptop from them. How frustrating! This is how my entire day has been. However, I do not feel like bitching about the lunacy of my day right now.

Lately I have been walking to and from work and it's been treating me pretty good. Today I will take a detour from my normal path (directly up Main Street). Perhaps I will venture down Court Street and hang out in Piatt Park for a while.

Things to do today:

  • Meeting @ 3PM
  • Order laptop if Dell's site comes back up
  • Create a meaningful node (unlike this one)
  • Throw together a computer with spare parts in office

Updates: My iguana problem is half settled. My roommate (I can only assume) captured him. Now I must decide what I'm going to do. I don't really have a place to keep him right now. Oh well, I'll figure something out.

Everything was screwed up, but it's okay now. I've written up Aldi, gift chocolate, and holiday chocolate so far. Now I'm going to go order a cell phone online. What's next, an SUV? (No! A Chrysler PT Cruiser! I want one!!!)

I feel on the verge of tears today, for no good reason. There's just...too much to deal with right now. and I feel very lonely today. My friend Chris has headed to his new Army post in Ansbach, Germany, and Kai is not available to even talk to or ICQ with. (at least I'm not leaving any friends behind when I move) Almost nobody, friends or relatives, bothered getting in touch at graduation. I think I got one card. Maybe two. My present from my parents was a luggage rack and carrier for the Subaru, and that and Kai's parents' present was it in terms of congratulations. Okay, okay, I'm just down today.Thank heavens for Starrynight, eh? You'd think he'd get tired of keeping me from falling apart.
My goodness! The kerfuffle over Everything time has driven even our mild-mannered scripted assistants to fits of homocidal fury!
asamoth orders Cowbotneal to strangle nate.
<p_i> CowbotNeal: nate?
<CowbotNeal> nate is my primary target for strangulation.
I for one am strangely chilled.
A chill almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the result of wormholed instant messages.

Fitful sleep last night (er, yesterday afternoon) punctuated by a visit from zaykay! to the Casa Gelato; Spring Punch, Pear and Pina Colada. Later I somehow managed (because of fear of the clammy bug presently holding us in its thrall) to fill a night without the assistance of Everything, the way I used to... that's right, six hours of Sid Meier - Colonization in this case. It bothers me how that game rewards genocide of indigenous peoples as a playing strategy. My conscience would be much assuaged (?) if I could get a crack for Dungeon Hack working.

For today: proofreading for DiSCORDER, some Dance Dance Revolution while I'm at UBC, mail some stuffs internationally, Living Closet meeting and perhaps a reading at Bukowski's as the beginning of the polish movie marathon at crystallattice's new pad has been postponed until tomorrow night. Decalogue, mm. Red, White, Blue, mm. Girl with buttony backpack: aw bjyeah.

(Can you see my knees trembling from here?)

To finish, a couple of extemporal (extemporaneous?) bibs and bobs not fitting to today but to a few days ago and a month or so ago, respectively:

"All I ask of you /
is forever to remember me /
as loving you."

There are definitely worse ways to celebrate a funeral, but a part of me demands fire.

When I keeled over and fell asleep I had four candies in my pants pocket; upon waking I had only one. I found one more amongst the sheets and blankets, but what happened to the other two?

There are at least two candies (wrapped, thankfully) somewhere in my bed, and I know, I just know that they will suface only upon the most inopportune of moments.

Update!: I found one of them (well, the remnants of one of them) at the bottom of the washing machine, a faint toffyish residue in the wrapper, the rest... melted away? in the wash, coating all of my clothes in a very fine layer?

One remains at large.

Oh yes, also a line from Juxtsuppose I read while on the loo which I felt would be eminently sharable:

"There was a man sitting on the the sidewalk downtown. Spread out in front of him was an assortment of items for sale. As I passed, I noticed one book in particular, "How To Start Your Own Business."

in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

Today has been a hard day (And is it over yet? Nooo. Still got reports to do.) with lots and lots of unexpected crap happening all over the place.

It all started last week, when the boss-like individual wondered if I could participate in a meeting with some techies from Sun. Unsuspecting, I agreed.

Let me state it like this: I should have bothered wearing a suit, or at least a tie. At least, that's what Sun's Business Engineer Manager Europe (or something) did.
Matters quickly went from bad to worse when the boss-like individual introduced me as the one responsible for all things unix in one of our pilot projects.
I also seemed to have underestimated the importance of the upcoming alliance with Sun. Great. Now every sucker will have their eyes on the first project of the alliance. And who is responsible for all things unix in that project?

You guessed it.
As if I didn't work >10h every day already.

Today's soundtrack: Foo Fighters - Everlong

Well, today is the day that I was going to dedicate it as a study day. So far, success has seen the light. I started reading my Database System notes at 4pm till half 7, with a 15 minute break in between to watch neighbours. Thats nearly 3 and a half hours of revision. Revising from Conceptual models through to Normalisation (1st form thru to 5th form including BNCF) and ended it with Database physical storage (eg B+ tree index etc.). Also, the most complex to understand, outer joins and natural joins. I've still got a hell of alot to go through, including Data Dictionaries and Database Security measures. I will begin that after dinner, Yummmmmm!!!!!!! and after 'The Bill'. Then settle down to complete database systems and hopefully move on to another module tommorow. Time is off essence, over & out!!!!!

My hands smell like that powdery stuff inside latex gloves. It reminds me of the days when I used to steal the little plastic gloves from the doctor's office when they left me alone in the room for too long. Ahhhh....those crazy days.

Today I started dissecting my first cat. Yup, that's right! A whole friggin dead cat, under my knife, mouth open, eyes closed for eternity. It looked so...peaceful. I almost didn't want to disturb the beautiful stillness of its fur. I named her Aphrodite. She is my new friend.

You may think this is cruel of me. You may think that I must have a certain degree of coldness about me to be able to cut into a dead living thing. This is not the case. I am learning from Aphrodite. She has many things to teach me and I feel much warmth towards her. Thank you, kitty. You are more than just another stray.

Sunday caught me off guard. It was the last day of Sunday School and I thought somehow I had another week. So closure for us was harried and awkward. It was chaotic. I did get an apple from Greer and told them to blow lots of bubbles this summer! I suppose I will see most of them around for church, however, I am less than happy about how organized it was. Some parishioners have heard of my illness and what began as a promising friendship with one woman has turned estranged. I can only guess that she has heard some kind of gossip as I can present myself as peculiar at times when I don't recognize someone. To be unaware of this would be a blessing. As for their gossip and prejudices against my disability, I am giving serious thought to a fresh start in finding a new church home. I can do no more that let others judge for themselves what I am inwardly and really am, and do the same myself with them. The only essential thing is that I strive to have the light in myself.

Monday was fruitful! I have read Howard's book and he was at the gym. For reasons discussed in the previous paragraph I prefer to remain anonymous in most places I go. Howard was there and his silly self leading the class when the teacher was late. I see a whole new side to this person. Here is a man who has kept Albert Camus' confidences for 40 years, who has visted the Polish Underground shortly after World War II. Marcel Dupré has played the organ at his sermons at the American Church in Paris....and I could go on. He has rubbed elbows with world leaders past and present. By the end of class I have decided to be venturesome and tell him I have read his book. His first question was where did I get it? (Barnes & Noble) The next one is What did you think? Startled by the question only one word comes to mind Facinating ! ,I stammer out(What would a man so great care what a mid aged housewife think ??). He tells me quietly that he plans to lecture this year around the world about his book. He said he will be there Friday for sure and would be more than happy to autograph his book. I'm looking forward to asking him Friday where he will be lecturing. I hope it will be nearby, because I would love to hear him speak.

Summer has definitely hit and we are adjusting to the change in routine. I came into the kitchen yesterday and asked Number Two Son why the dishwasher was only halfway unloaded. I'm unloading between battles. he rationalizes. Ever on the lookout to help my children, thinking quickly I roll his seat in front of the dishwasher and join his comrades in battle on Everquest while he finished up.

Number One Son has car fever so I have spent some time with him at dealerships looking at Camaros. Another lesson in life to walk through with him. Different ways to buy a car and finance it, as well as, looking for a good quality car. It has been an introduction for now because after some discussion, his father and I are recommending that he consider waiting until he has two years of college under his belt before he commits to taking on any more debt.

Paul said, "Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me."
- 2 Timothy 4:10 (NRSV)

The sin of putting ourselves in the place where God belongs not only begets estrangement from the divine presence, but causes trouble between other human beings and ourselves. I recall a wise man saying to a friend, 'The whole trouble in our world is the lack of an apostrophe.' When the friend wanted to know what he meant, he said, 'Well look at Adolph Hitler and at Mussolini and at Josef Stalin and at Hideki Tojo-Whatyou see is this: men trying to be gods instead of trying to be God's.'


So here I am listening to The Cramps play wilder, wilder, faster, faster over and over again. Perhaps in an attempt to drive myself mad. I shall node it, by mere repetition alone. This is how I set my mind in motion.

So having spent a day playing poker on Mplayer, I have managed to loose 5000 in fake money. I don't know what to think of that, save that I'm glad it's not real money. Ack. Onward into the sun.

i am yet again irrationally angry at nothing in particular.

television makes me sick. fox television showed the excavation of tombs in egypt. it's nothing more than grave robbing. LIVE! the walls are covered with hieroglyphics warning of death by various unpleasant means (snakes and crocodiles, oh my!) to all who enter the tombs. i hope they find it. LIVE!

practice was good and today was a good day at work, but i'm a bit grumpy despite. i was finally given more stock and everything else that is coming to me is in the works. but, like i said yesterday, i just don't know if i can find my happy niche in this industry.

i can't wait until the weekend when i can spend time outside in good company. i hope it is sunny.

i need a haircut.

i need to straighten out my taxes (oops).

i need to find out what's up with my driver's license.

i will get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight and shower in the morning. i will have a muffin for breakfast. i will work hard tomorrow.

I'm about to go crazy, I swear. I feel so trapped, like I'm about to suffocate because I'm in the midst of all these rules and controls that surround all aspects of life. I'm even physically trapped--I'm in a world of horizontal and vertical, in a body with its needs and desires and emotions. Time contstrains me as well. I don't have to go to work today which is a good thing and a bad thing. Bad because it means I'm more likely to be bored and good because I don't have to run around like a machine all day. Work bores me as well and for me, apparently, boredom leads to the weirdest ideas. When I'm at work I begin the think like that character in Breakfast of Champions who calls is son a cocksucking machine. I am a machine more or less akin to the cash register, I am a machine that turns merchandise into money. To the hundreds of people I see at work each day, I am a means to an end, but I am not alone. Everyone else, no matter what they are doing it seems, is being viewed as either a tool or obstacle for someone else and everyone is so seperated from each other. This makes me sad, but there is no other choice. The flesh has its needs and the mind its wants so we have no choice but to keep using each other for our own benefit, and the pain that is in our lives is caused by the prison of meat that we inhabit.

I start to try to node the book, and the events of the last few days, but i end up starting a long requiem and apology for the entire relationship. I feel almost guilty for putting something so personal and one-sided on here. It is publicized despite me, before it is finished, before i can really explain even the title. That's ok, i guess, this is a public forum. For all you voyeurs out there. Yes, you. It's still not finished.

He's so puppyish now that i've told him it's over, now that the countdown is in full effect. He needs so much reassurance and i think maybe maybe it would be less cruel if i were just cruel and colder to him, instead of being half-kind, half-distant. Scott has called, and i stop by on the way downtown. I am dressed in Gauguin South Seas orange/pink/yellow/green, he wears a Hawaiian shirt, and i am glad for the simplicity of this affair. It's easy. It would be so honest and straightforward if it were not secret and convolute. It's true.

Ah, but i am agitated and confused, and i stop in the used record store and buy too many CDs: Legendary Pink Dots, lisahall, Julee Cruise, the amps .. i can't make decisions, everything is multiple. Why should i have to make decisions? Why can't i be infinite? I want to be infinite.

We go to see High Fidelity: Dan and I, my sister and her boyfriend. They are cute. The movie is - cute. Kinda sappy for my tastes. Dan tries to hold my hand. I, i don't know. He has no place to go and thinks he's ruined the best thing that will ever happen to him. I, i don't know. There are so many people out there.


Well, work has certainly calmed down since yesterday.
And thank goodness, because we have been some busy mofo's lately. My boss, that I was supposed to relieve, has returned, and still will not leave. After I ran the show for two weeks underway, he comes back, ready to work, because he's been screwing off for two weeks instead of standing watch and working 18 hours a day.

But I'm not bitter. I like to be told to do things I already know I have to do. I especially like to be berated and questioned about things I did while he was off sleeping late and terrorizing his family. No, really, I like that sort of thing

So anyway...
I went home and everyone was out in the front yard, including several small blond neighbor kids. They were all running and playing, while my weird little son pushed his scoot-on car around the yard, mowing the grass. He has a real love-hate relationship with lawnmowers. He loves to play with pretend ones-- he has a little green one he uses, and every time we go to the toy store he grabs one to push around. But real lawnmowers send him running for the front door or to me or my wife.
"Noisy, huh?" I ask him.
"Uh huh, Don't gike dat lawnmoomoo", he answers. That's pretty much how he speaks--it's really tadpolean, not english.
He feels the same way about big trucks--he loves the little toy ones and can't get away from big ones fast enough. I think he likes the little ones so much because they allow him to control these things he fears so much. He can toss them around, crash them, and make all the loud noises himself.
The girls are actually pretty good tonight, too
Granted, the long haired one has to go hang out in her room and then eat dinner alone because she doesn't want to be civil. Then we do have to fight with her to get her to use her brain on her homework, but I swear it didn't seem like they were that bad. Eventually, we all watch a movie on disney called The Thirteenth Year about a boy who turns into a Merman during puberty, but the girlies have to go to bed at 8:00 and can't finish it. It's pretty good, so we promise to let them stay up and watch it this weekend. I read Chapter 4 of Black Beauty to them and tuck them in for the night.
Bed early.
My wife was tired and cranky all night, and I was pretty much the same--maybe even more so. I softly scratch her back while we watch most of Will and Grace, and we decide to go to bed. So we end up in bed before ten o'clock, which is just freakish. The boy, who sleeps with us, is rumbly and doesn't want to sleep. Eventually, though, he does, and so do I.

After playing Name That Lebanese Food in the chatterbox with discofever and hoopy frood, I was seriously craving some lebneh, so I called up p_i. They let me out early from work for good behaviour (well, watching the phones for two hours and taking a late lunch while everyone was out celebrating our president's birthday), so I met up with him and we bussed off to Habibi's, a cheap and extremely excellent local lebanese restaurant. On the bus a drunk guy, after trying to sell us a bus pass (a yearly buspass, no less, which in vancouver are only issued to disabled passengers), he sat very close to us and started insulting us. I am: (a) under the age of fourteen, (b) symptomatic of the ruin of society (especially in as much as I have dyed red hair), (c) getting on his fucking case!, and (d) a jellybean. (what?) Pseudo_Intellectual, on the other hand, is a pedophile, because he's clearly fucking my brains out. Sigh. Other well-intentioned bus riders leapt to our defense, and one of them got slapped in the face as the drunk guy left the bus. Sigh. Sigh.

The food was great. Rowan was freaking out over our everything obsession. I'm not - on everything we talk about everything but everything. Say that five times coherently!

Meow, meow, meow. I unintentionally fell asleep at 7 and got 11 hours of sleep.

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