Meditation on the Recent Immigration Debate

Witness the incredible sideshow that is the Congressional Immigration Debate! See normal people fight brother against brother to see just how high the fence betweeen fantasy and reality should be.

See the amazing punditocracy pavillion, where Bill O'Reilly will chastize the Archbishop of Los Angeles one moment, and defends the Church against The Da Vinci Code the next. Watch Lou Dobbs, a man who cringes every time he drives past a Taco Bell, die a thousand deaths as the illegal aliens anally probe the ideals of Americanism he holds so dear. And what kind of America would we have without people like Pat Buchanan, who are afraid that a million Tony Montanas will come on that boat to freedom?

Gawk at the amazing forty foot fence stretching the big, wide border, the one not bordering the U.S. and Canada. And don't miss the legendary Evel Knievel come out of retirement to jump it!

Support our National Guard as they take a vacation from sunny Iraq, to spend their days in such fun places as El Paso, Laredo, and Tijuan- I mean, San Diego!

Cheer with the naïve high school students who believe they no longer have to learn a foreign language. ¿Donde Esta La Biblioteca NOW?.

Look at the undocumented workers who think they have been given amnesty. Look at the smiling capitalists, tycoons, and Wal-Mart assistant managers who know otherwise. And look at the unionized, downsized, outsourced, and demoralized workers, who have found another worthy scapegoat for their employer's actions.

And tune to ESPN, to see the next Yao Ming score thirty points a game, or else the Seattle Supersonics will call the INS on him.

Movie Music of a Sort

A trumpet player is hired for a film score date during which he plays two extended solos and gets paid double scale for the six hour engagement. Afterwards the composer thanks him and promises that he'll send him a note when the film is released.

Six months later he gets a letter announcing the film's release, but is surprised to read that it's opening in Times Square at a XXX theater. Wanting to hear his solos set against the film, the trumpet player goes to the theater wearing a dark raincoat, a big hat and shades. Wishing to be as inconspicuous as possible, he takes a seat in the last row next to an elderly couple.

Finally the theatre lights dim. Sex acts of all kinds, inclusive of golden showers, group sex and sadomasochism commenced as soon as the title roll had finished. The trumpeter's music soared over the moaning and groaning of the actors. The film's climax features a dog having intercourse with the leading female character.

The musician, intensely embarrassed, turns to the elderly couple and whispers, "I played on the music score. I just came to hear my trumpet solos."

The elderly woman whispers in reply, "That's OK. We just came to see our dog."

UPDATE: Bitriot, after consultation, suggested that although I enhanced the story, it was sent to me by musician Pete Levin (www.petelevin.com) so I hereby give credit where it's due.