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Your friend Behr once was involved in the placement and usage of toilet cams in women's rest rooms. NO MORE! I am a better person now and I know that was wrong. If you are doing that kind of stuff, please stop now. It is wrong.

Now, I would like to thank the three noders who wisely chose to invest in my Human Breeding Pits business concept, with special notice given to the rural lady doctor who purchased three 1/100ths of a quarter share for $210,000. Your money is well invested, friend!

I am scoping out areas for the breeding pits, looking towards Alabama and Missouri as their state laws are VERY accomodating to the construction and operation of human breeding pits. Now, for those noders who don't have the money to invest but are willing to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get to work, I will be renting some 1970s era Ford Econoline "mystery vans" which we will pilot through rough neigborboods looking for idle people. We will "grab" those people "forcefully and without mercy" and throw them into the back of the van where they will be chained on a very, very, very short chain and fed only Milk Bones brand dog treats during the trip (if they request "snacks" - I hope to god they won't).

Now, we must first come to understand what an idle person is. This is ANY person not actively doing work that profits someone else and is just "sitting around" or "hanging out." I have lists of Netflix subscribers. The hunt for breeding flesh WILL begin there. It is only logical, as my fine-assed friend Spock used to say. Damn, what a FINE ass on that man, I swear. Fabulous ass. Award winning. Were awards given? Spock had a great ass, you must admit. Do you disagree? Do you disagree? Disagreement with the alpha male breeds discontent. I will NOT have discontent in the ranks. You are to obey me and that is FACT.

Now, once we have forced these idle folks into the van we can begin to break down their mental state through physical and emotional abuse. Keep them up for 24 hours a day while shaking your ass in their face. See what that does to them. If it isn't enough, if they are a "hard sell," learn what I learned in business. "If they aren't buying, the butt end of a gun does wonders in upping your sales numbers." I loved paralyzing one half of a couple with deliberate blows to the brain with the butt end of a gun while the other screamed. Good stuff. I enjoyed it A LOT.

So, if you cannot afford to invest right now, and investment makes better people of all of us (it has me), consider driving a van or roping idle folks into the back of the van for torment and forced breeding. You'll be glad you did.

My friends.

I'm trying to keep writing these logs, even if I don't particularly feel like it. Today is such a day. I'm tired — partly from talking so much last night (and drinking) — and partly from various other sources. A big source is my mother. I don't remember how much I've revealed about our relationship on here, so let's just say she has many, many narcissistic traits that seriously messed me up while growing up. I've dealt with the worst of my anger, denial, and all that crap. However, that doesn't make it any less painful to spend time with someone who shows little-to-no interest in getting to know me as an actual person. Her empathy skills also aren't exactly great, either. She's not as bad as Sheldon Cooper, but still, the level of her self-centeredness still takes me by surprise at times.

The most recent example really got under my skin. First, a bit of background info. She knows why I moved back home. She knows I left behind a garden plot that I had worked very hard on and that had meant a lot to me. Leaving in the dead of winter didn't exactly give me the option to dig up my plants and bring them with me. I left behind many of my other belongings in the house. It was a quick, brutal breakup that left me crying on the phone to her, my father, my brother, and anyone else willing to listen to me. So obviously, I've been feeling shitty. My father decided that I could grow some vegetables on the edge of the property where there's more sunlight. He dug up a huge area that was full of rocks, ordered however many pounds of soil (A LOT!), and wheel-barrowed it up the hill to dump it into the new garden he'd made just for me. Now here's where my mother comes in. She complained (to both of us) that he did all of that for me but wouldn't do something she wanted in her garden beds. She made this complaint twice.

Yeah.

Neither of us tried to explain it to her, and she didn't bring it up a third time (yet). Wouldn't a normal mother have been happy to see her husband do something nice for their heartbroken daughter? Or at least acted happy, even if she wasn't? That's what I think, based on how my girlfriends' mothers act. I sometimes feel envious of them for having such a good bond with their moms. 

A few other things happened that also bothered me, such as acting as if I don't exist during dinner. Since then, I've made more of an effort to avoid family dinners. I went to a potluck with friends last night, and tonight I ate by myself while reading in bed. Tomorrow I'm getting a haircut, which I've meant to do for the past three months. I still don't know what I'll have done. Probably a bob. 

I can't tell anymore if I'm being coherent, so I'll leave things there. Thanks for reading, E2 peeps.  

PS: Since I usually end with a short gardening report, I'll have you know that the nasturtiums just came up, and I bought several plants from the garden center: black-eyed susans, purple coneflowers, a yellow pear tomato plant, thyme, and some eggplants (in case my own eggplant seedlings die). I need to try another garden center this weekend to look for the stuff I couldn't find.

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