May 7, 2002

*breath*

I'm pissed at all the incompetence and ignorance that abounds in this world. (Hear me out, this is not a complete rant.) Us folks in this place here are some thinkin' people - and so I know I am not alone in my feelings, or at the very least in my recognizing the myriad of complexities making up "what's wrong with the world." But so what? First off, I'm an American. I'm not even going to touch that one for today. Today I have a specific target: the SUV. Not a new target of mine or anyone else's, just the symbol that's drawn my disgust of the hour. Give me credit, I Know that there are multitudes of intrinsic flaws in human nature are not easy to "fix." The human-animal being what it is makes "utopia" an unattainable human construct. Looks great in the mind, won't work on paper. Kinda like jet-setting around the universe at the speed of light. Not in this lifetime.

Things like one's "Earth vehicle" of choice however, are as easy to CHANGE as what you eat for lunch. (Salad vs. McDonald's Super Size "Extra Value" Meal... ah America's Waist Line.) This whole SUV (and lots of other large, inefficient cars) driving thing is disgusting. There's no reason for it. And America's (as a whole) refusal to recognize what's bad about many of their lifestyle choices is even more disgusting. Everywhere I look, I see people getting self-righteous about their Ignorance! "It's mah got-damn right to drive what I want to, I don't see nutin wrong wit it." Riiiight.

Now to point. I'm sure some of you noders out there are very wonderful, well-informed, SUV driving creatures. I'm not (really) trying to bash anyone on the head, but please, stop to think before you let yourself or anyone you know buy a NEW one of those monstrosities. And here for your enjoyment is my version of a little top 10 list some local activists I know created. Cut it, Paste it, Make copies of it... Stick it under people's windshield wipers. Steal the fuck out of this list. Spread it around. Or at least, have a little chuckle.

The Top 10 Reasons SUV'S Aren't So Cool Anymore

10. GLOBAL WARMING. - The average SUV emits nearly double the amount of C02 as even a large sized sedan. (A Ford Taurus, for example.) And I don't give a damn what the Republicans say, global warming is as real as your smelly feet.

9. THEY INCREASE AMERICA'S DEPENDENCE ON FOSSIL FUELS. - So we end up kissing ass to oppressive regimes in the Middle East and now even in central Asia. What makes the Taliban any different from the Saudi monarchy? Oil. Sad but true. And as for drilling in Alaska... don't even get me started.

8. THEY MAKE US FORGET WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT. - By insisting on driving gas-guzzling SUV's, we're letting other countries get way ahead of us in terms of innovative ways to power vehicles. In many senses, this goes beyond the SUV to every gas powered American car but the SUV is really the epitome of the situation. Go to Europe for a day. See what they're driving.

7. THEY'RE NOT VERY SEXY - There's nothing nimble or graceful or curvaceously hot about those metal boxes. I don't care if you've got an Escalade with 22" rims. If an SUV were an American football player, it would be a high bodyfat offensive lineman. It's 2002 - maybe it's time to drive a running back. Or better yet, a real football player. A forward perhaps.

6. SUV'S PLAY INTO THE BAD THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT US. - People around the world say Americans are selfish and pampered. Maybe we are, maybe we aren't. But a whole lot of us are driving gas-guzzling, C02 emitting, massive (and disgustingly UNESSECARY) 4WD vehicles just to buy mocha lattes and go to the mall.

5. UNLESS YOU USE YOUR SUV TO GO THUMPING UP MOUNTAINS, IT LOOKS SILLY. - Like wearing an outdoor vest, hiking shorts and a poncho to the movies. You might as well strap a canteen on your back and wrap yourself in mosquito netting. Who are you kidding? That "hip", "rugged" feeling is all a commercial illusion served up to you on a silver TV screen by some giganto corporation. And you bought it. In fact, you probably paid over $25,000 for it. I'm sorry.

4. WHAT WOULD JESUS DRIVE? - Probably a donkey. Buddha would definitely walk. I can see The Holy Father on a bicycle. Moses did quite a bit of trekking around, he might have opted for a moped. Allah prefers camels. Most of the Hindu Deities get to hop on elephants, or in taxicabs if it's raining. If Jesus struck it rich he would splurge on one of those new MINI's. He thinks they're quite fetching. He told me just yesterday that he wants it in canary yellow.

3. THEY'VE BECOME THE YUPPIE VEHICLE OF CHOICE. - And no one wants to be a yuppie, not even yuppies. Bunko and Botox anyone?

2. THEY ROLL OVER. - Go ahead, make a really sharp turn while you're driving fast. I dare you. And there is that additional bonus of the exploding tires, but I think that was mostly cleared up.

1. OSAMA BIN LADEN DRIVES AN SUV. - This very second, CIA operatives are monitoring Predator spy drones in the Middle East and Central Asia looking out for any luxury SUV's. Feel silly yet?

To give some background on my momentarily elevated levels of horror listen to the what all I heard today:

First: A friend of mine's parents are trading in their 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee for a 2002 model of the exact same car. Just newer. They like that new car smell. This'll be their 4th or 5th SUV. Why? Because they go to the beach Twice A Year for five days at a time, and so they "need" a car that can drive on the beach in case they decide that they want to.

Second: A guy I know is selling his 1997 Ford Mustang and getting a 2002 Ford Explorer Special Edition. Why? Because he's a big guy. He's not that big. 6'2", MAYBE. Oh yeah, and he plays hockey. "Well, didn't all your hockey equipment fit in the Mustang?" "Sure, I just wanted more space for it." "Um... ok."

Third: The neighbors of my parents have two small children. They are selling their Cadillac and buying a 2002 Dodge Durango so that they have room for the kids. They already own a mini van.

And lastly, can anyone REALLY tell me what "Sport Utility" REALLY means?

PS-If by chance you've seen fliers like this around your place of habitation, Please Please tell me.
PPS-I know that some of the reasons on there are from a different angle than might seem most obvious. (For instance, I don't care what Osama drives.)However this list was designed as an appeal to the masses, and I feel that those are reasons more likely to hit home with a majority.

America's On Sale

mkb seyz:sport is driving around in mud. utility is driving around in the mud on your ranch after cows. :-)

stupot seyz:The UK is going this way, too - and we don't even have SPACE over here, like you Americans do. The funniest one is travelling down my mum's single track lane, and you meet an 'offroad' vehicle... they tend to be very reluctant to drive 'off the road' and get it muddy... of course, I sit in the middle of the road in my road car :o)

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Whoa. This is my most "comment-generating" (and also my most heavily downvoted) write-up to date. Apparently cars are as hot button a topic as... well, I won't name names. In my defense as to a softlink below (pardon me if it was directed at another write-up here, but I think that is not so), I'm "not a hippie." Thank you. We can talk labels too if you'd like.

The people who stand beside me on this issue, I hear you loud and clear. Cut and Paste the hell out of the list if you so desire. Please. To those against me, message me and let's talk.

Despite all that, I still stand 100% behind everthing I've said.

DRIVE SMALLER. LIVE BIGGER.

For You Know Who,

I hope you have found what you are looking for.

Today, I wrote a letter to someone I haven't seen in ten years:

I'm starting to be very glad that yuri doesn't have these designations. ^-^;; They label people a certain way and when you label someone, you lock them into a certain category or type, as if they are incapable of being more or of doing something outside of what you have labeled them. Take Tomoyo & Sakura for instance. Sakura is happy and outgoing and much more extroverted while Tomoyo is more quiet and shy and introverted. Sakura is very shy whereas nothing seems to get to Tomoyo except Sakura. Tomoyo is exquisitely feminine whereas Sakura looks just as adorable in boys clothes as she does in girls clothes. So it's hard to say who's what in that relationship. Yes, Sakura would do whatever Tomoyo wanted her to do because Tomoyo really does have a lot of control over Sakura. But at the same time, Sakura would probably be dragging Tomoyo all over the place. Labeling them makes it much more difficult to understand things because you get them locked into these certain character types rather than simply letting them be the characters they are. With some people, it can be a lot easier to tell who's who. But even with ChibiUsa & Hotaru, who I until recently thought of as a one being more dominant that the other, isn't quite so clear cut. If they were both boys, then Hotaru would probably be the seme according to conventional wisdom. She's quiet and doesn't let her emotions out very easily (at least until she's reborn, but which time she seems to have a better handle on them, making it even more difficult to tell which would be which in the relationship). ChibiUsa's perky and sweet. So these things all just serve to hold them in. It keeps away the full potential of a person if they think this is who they are. Because we aren't simply labels or personality types. We are so much more than that. My dad used to tell me never to label myself. Now he goes and tells me exactly what personality type I am. So maybe he's forgotten that, but I still believe that labeling ourselves and others simply limits things.

I'm rambling. ^-^;;; But that's not really a new development. ^^ I've just been having a lot of trouble with labels lately in a lot of areas. I'm getting sick of heterosexual and homosexual labels. It's all just about sex. And sex, contrary to popular belief, does not equal love. Love should transcend such things. Sex can be a part of love, but sex is not love. So why do we base so much of our life over what we want to have sex with? It's not about falling in love, about finding the person that is most right for you. It's about finding someone who can offer a little companionship and who can sate your lust. Like you said before when I was asking about what sexuality you thought ChibiUsa was. You told me that she was straight. That she fell in love with Hotaru, that it didn't matter that she was heterosexual because she'd fallen in love. And it just happened to be a girl. I thought that was a great view of things. ^-^

Anyway, I probably better go before I ramble any further. ^-^ Sorry for all of that. ^^;;; So you'd be both? Probably the best answer you could find for that, even if it's not exactly what you wanted. I think I'm gonna quit looking. I don't really wanna know and it would just force me to think that I'd have to be a certain way in a relationship. I'm already neurotic enough without that. ^-^ You should just be yourself. Even when I don't like who I see in the mirror, it's still probably better than being someone else. Too messy. ^-^ And then you start to wonder just who's who and which you is the real you and it just becomes more trouble than it's worth, especially if you care about the person. Well, I hope you're doing all right. ^-^ I'm so sorry I've been so sporadically on lately. ;_; I've been so out of it. O_o I haven't written or done much of anything lately. ^^;; I hope I can see you soon. ^-^ *hugs*

Adrift on a cold sea.

A friend, back home, died in a car crash on the weekend. Three people have contacted my by email to tell me. He was a party animal, a carefree fiend, an athlete, a happy person.

The job market continues to deteriorate. Nothing new was posted today, evne after the long weekend.

I have been here too long, with nothing to do.

Where from here?

Well I have I think some good news. I am not dead yet. (well duh)

I also have some material for people that would I think fulfill your new theme that you have planned. Something about a quest to get material on WWII. You have come to the right place. I have a nice book review on Albert Speer's book Infiltration: How Heinrich Himmler Schemed to Build an SS Industrial Empire in the Third Reich.

and a nice little book review it is too.

I also have plans to get some other content on here as well.

How about the unknown portions of the Lewis and Clark Expedition Diaries?

That's right that slim little volume you read in high school or before is not the whole story not by a long shot.

For example there are at least 10 volumes of basically unedited material.

I also assume that it would not violate any copyright restrictions because of the extreme date of the material and not only that but they are all dead.

If anyone has any objections about my noding at least some of this material please message me about it. I think it would do many people to see some of America's greatest explorers in their element.

Today I am angstful. I'm in such a bad mood, I'm making up words.

I have no real reason to be in a bad mood. Just about all the things wrong with my life are my own damn fault. And the things that aren't my fault, well, that's just life. I can dwell on it and be a basket case like some people I know, or I can get over it and move on. 99% of the time, I choose to move on.

But I want someone to pay attention to me, damnit! I want someone to ask me how I'm doing, and really care! I'm tired of giving and not receiving. I'm tired of caring and being shit on. I'm tired of my own inadequacies and self-loathing. I'M FUCKING FED UP WITH IT ALL!

My bottle is full, Lord. Grant me my reprieve and leave me to the world. I only crave happiness. I only want to sleep like a child.

Snap out of it Chris. Quit your whining and do what needs doing. You are in control, and you have to make things happen. Do the things you despise, and be stronger for it. Shut up, and get on with it.

Ok.

I decided that I'm going to go ahead and win tomorrow's lottery - it's 60 million bucks. I could do a lot with that kind of dough. Besides, I'm bored. I want to travel. And I want to give all of the DESERVING members of my family a wad of money so that I can lord over their behaviors in hope of making them become healthy and functional, self-actualized people according to my master plan. I will, of course, nonchalantly snub the nondeserving members of my family and let them find out "through the grapevine" that I won a bunch of money. And when they call me to give me a hard time, I have this great diatribe all thought out in which I rebuke them of their past sins against me, my deserving family members, and themselves. I explain that they've never done anything good for humanity and that I don't have to give them anything because it would just cause further suffering to themselves and others. (Maybe I don't want to actually win the money...maybe I just want some justification to be awful the child molesting, thieving, drug abusing alcoholic portion of my biological family...) Then I'm going to buy a huge plot of land and build a mammoth Earth Ship on it. Then, I'm going to get a small tribe of similarly minded friends together and we're all going to go and live there. I will make occasional trips to Europe and other places...exotic places...places that you've heard of but only remember that they exist when you hear their name on television or read it in a book. I'm going to get my beautiful, but crazy, nine-year-old daughter into the best therapist money can buy. And I'm going to buy her a human to play with, like Richard Pryor in the movie "Toy". And then I'm going to start a business making all hemp clothing. I'm going to grow huge fields of hemp and have a team of scientists working on making the most incredible things out of it - it'll be the wave of the future - plus it will be easy to hide my field of marijuana in the middle of it.