Musical Terms Applying to Percussion that Sound Dirty But Really Aren't

These are all actual rudiments, rudimental terms, instruments, or common colloquialisms.

Poka Poka Parraka

Flam Five Patty

Clarkers

Jeff Queen

Single Stroke

Double Stroke

Flam Tap

Drag

Inverted, Cheesed Shirley Murphy

Back Sticking

Rim Shot

Reefed

Cranked

Cross-Over

Fucking Like Monkeys

Open Roll

Swiss Triplets

Chudda Chuh

Hugga Dugga Brrrrrrr Gock

Spanks

Ganks

Vietnamese Whores

Flipped Butt Taps

2 on 2's

Cheese 5's Off the Left

Patty Fla Fla

Skidoosh

Throwin' It Down and Shakin' The Ground

Hit Section

Park 'n' Blow

Mount

Nipple Gong

Head

High Tension Rod

Free Floating Swing A-Frame Harness

Torque Wrench

Horny Drunk Cheerleading Captain Bent Over The Tympani With Her Panties Around Her Ankles

Flam Draglet

Sextuplets

Digi Dock Digi Dock

Giving Gooks

Dup, Dut, Chock, or Ssst

Reach-arounds (tenors only)

Stick Control

If I forgot anything let me know.

Having drummed a little myself, I thought I'd throw these into the fray.

Paradiddlediddles

Pataflahflahs

Inverted Cheese Chewbaccadiddles Off The Left Hand (I swear to God I didn't make that up)

Fubars

Treebars

Monkeybars

Bass Mallet

Flam Drag

Grab Ass

Rim Click

Chupra Chupra Cheese

Chupa Chups

One Handed Bass Rolls

One and Ones

Swiss Triplets

Buh, Bugga Chicka, Guh Guh

Swiss Triplets Shoved Up Against Parking Meters, Inverted Off The Left Hand

The Meaty Section

Coming in From Behind

Bugga Cha Bugga Cha Buggaguhguhguhguh Guh

Kevin Rainey

Laying Down the Meat

Throwing Down the Meat

Fornication Between Consenting Adults

Keep Your Head Bobbing

Monkey Drumming

High Sticking

If you're wondering where some of the more interestingly named things came from, they're most likely cadences or made up rudiments that came from way, way, way too much drumming.

I must admit that I'm a bit flabbergasted by the above. I mean "Fornication between Consenting Adults"? I've been recording and performing for years now, and I've never heard those. Well, I do know some of those are real, and so are these:

• Tom-tom
• Floor tom (a tom-tom on the floor)
• Ride
• Brushes
• Stick Bag
• Roll
• Lay back (done that)
• On top of the beat (done that)
• Behind the beat (done that)
• Poly-rhythmic (done that)
• Guaguanco (South American rhythm) (done that)
• Trading Fours (done that)
• Trading Eights (done that)
• Funking it up (done that)

I'll just throw a few more in there.

-Stick Slaps
-Bottom Thumper
-Gacking with the Guy on the Left
-Riding the Cymbals
-Cymbal Spanks
-Hitting the Sweet Spot
-Fuck and Truck (ok, that's a Drill move, but close enough)