Song by
Tom Lehrer, from the album
Tom Lehrer Revisited. A good example of his dark humor. If you haven't heard it before, just go out and buy the CD at once... The lyrics are reproduced here with Tom Lehrer's
written permission.
As usual, introduced by the man himself:
Next we have the dear-hearts-and-gentle-people's school of songwriting, in which the singer tells you that, no matter how much sin and vice and crime go on where he comes from, it's still the best place in the world because it's home, you know. Sort of gets you. This example is called My Home Town.
I really have a yen,
To go back once again,
Back to that place where no-one wears a frown,
To see once more those super-special just plain folks
In my home town.
No fella could ignore
That little girl next door,
She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown...
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free
In my home town.
I remember Dan,
The druggist on the corner,
He was never mean or ornery, he was swell,
He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well,
And then sprinkled just a bit
Over each banana split.
The guy who taught us math,
Who never took a bath
Acquired a certain measure of renown,
And after school he sold the most amazing pictures
In my home town.
That fella was no fool who taught our Sunday School,
And neither was the kindly Parson Brown,
(We're recording tonight so I'll have to leave this bit out) 1
In my home town.
I remember Sam, he was the village idiot,
And though it seemed a pity it was so,
He loved to burn down buildings just to watch the glow,
And nothing could be done,
Because he was the Mayor's son.
The guy that took a knife,
And monogrammed his wife,
And dropped her in the pond, and watched her drown,
Oh yes indeed the people there are just plain folks,
In my home town!
1) Appearently, this is all just a joke from Tom Lehrer's part. An extensive search on the Internet has not yielded any hints as to what this line could otherwise be about.