I first realized this when I noticed the
cats were leaving me
sacrifices in front of my
car. It began with a
mouse but slowly progressed to
squirrel,
scientologist and finally
proj2501.
For once, someone saw through my phony human disguise and knew me for the deity I was. Quick to capitalize on the situation, I began leaving relics around the house for them. Blessed yarn here, sanctified drops of water there. Next, I began touching their food while they watched. It was hours of insane laughter watching them grapple with eating it or worshipping it.
I then took a picture of myself and placed it on the door. I'm sure many can imagine their rapture at realizing God had sent his only son down to the cats in his image to, surely, absolve them of their transgressions. They purred, cooed and sacrificed to my photo. I guess what I did next is mean, but they're cats and'll get over it, I suppose.
I followed one of 'em around (without their knowing, of course) to catch any sign of a sin.... Finally I caught it eating from the others bowl. STEALING! I jumped out.... she knew she'd been seen. But there was a way out, right? A method of absolution! My only son, sent down to the cats...... was gone. I'd snatched the picture. She ran around where it was for hours, but for nothing.
She finally collapsed and became a existentialist. The other, as far as I can tell, has become something of an evangalist and preaches to the woodland animals.
While I get a good laugh out've this, I often wonder about what'll happen if humanity dies out and the world is left to the cats now...