Lately I've noticed that it's become quite a hobby for a few people around here to complain about the management. Reams and reams of nodespace have been wasted on issues that are really nothing at all. It's my turn to jump on the bandwagon!

Enlisting the help of Scott Pakin's fantastic automatic complaint-letter generator (, I now intend to bitch out Bones more than rescdsk ever could! Ha! Take that, authority!

A number of incidents have taken place in the last several weeks which have troubled many members of our community. In the rest of this letter, I will use history and science (in the Hegelian sense) to prove that I am appalled by the vast generalizations in Dem Bones's claim that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. Think about how easy it's become for feckless prevaricators to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. His principles are a hotbed of larrikinism, and every intellectually honest person knows it. In any case, his method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "Bones-ism". It is a stinking and avowedly incomprehensible philosophy that aims to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction.

I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Bones want to glamorize drug usage. Is it possible for those who defend heinous gnosticism to make their defense look more dirty than it currently is? He offers two principal reasons as to why Comstockism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. He argues that (1) doing the fashionable thing is more important than life or liberty, and (2) he acts in the public interest. These arguments are invalid for the following reasons: First, given the amount of misinformation that he is circulating, I must unquestionably point out that if he feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. Bones's arrogance has brought this upon himself.

Bones has lost what little credibility he once had. This applies first and foremost to a group under whose unconscionable brand of factionalism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: blathering paper-pushers. I find his disquisitions rather brutish, don't you? When he says that all literature which opposes post-structuralism was forged by truculent Neanderthals, in his mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like he believes he has said something very profound. I don't mean to throw fuel on an already considerable fire, but Bones's lackeys all look like Bones, think like Bones, act like Bones, and purge the land of every non-ghastly person, gene, idea, and influence, just like Bones does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha!

He frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what he is doing -- as opposed to what he is saying -- to understand his true aims. Stripping from the term "teleoroentgenography" the negative connotations it evokes, I will try to condemn -- without hesitation, without remorse -- all those who create a global workers plantation overseen by transnational corporations who have no more concern for the human rights of those who produce their products or services than Bones has for his henchmen. How disruptive can he be? The only effective and responsible course of action is to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward antipluralism -- an often frustrating prescription, to be sure. Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, but for all of you reading this who are not huffy proponents of separatism, you can understand where the motivation for that statement comes from. By toning down his invectives, many more people are exposed to his confused message, convinced by his passion, and seduced by his simplistic answers to complex social problems. In the beginning of this letter, I promised you details, but now I'm running out of space. So here's one detail to end with: Dichotomous thinking has stymied Dem Bones's ability to reach solutions.

P.S. That was satire. I love Bones dearly. Duh.

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