Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "My wonderful, amazing auntie whom my uncle never actually married and then KICKED OUT OF THE HOUSE PAUL YOU FOOL SHE WAS THE BEST PART ABOUT YOU WHYYYY"

• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
• The House on the Island Where She Was Born
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
• Her grief is still too young to behave itself, so she never lets it out
• Besides the part where she was the only one
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• life is about falling into a hole, and then climbing out of the hole
• Death was a part of me then, too.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• The best part of having a roommate is getting to bitch about them incessantly
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• What if Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong?
• It's never too soon to start lying to your kids about drugs
• She was cilantro, jalapeño, habanero. She was the hot plate you must not touch.
• did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?
• spin until you get dizzy, then spin the other way to cancel it out
• Outside the train station she was the only person wearing an Orange raincoat and a look of surprise
• She was like a candle in the wind: unreliable
• Let him hold out hope that someone or other might come. Then fuckin' kill him.
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• Someday my life will be interesting, and I will come back and tell you about it then
• She was free
• Whom to marry or not to marry
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• I married him because he was not mean
• Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
• Get over the self-absorbed "I'll never sell out" rhetoric
• She Was 18, It Was Summer
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• She was cilantro, jalepeno, habanero. She was the hot plate you must not touch.
• You never write, you never call, you never tell me what you learned about that mighty groaning noise
• Stuff you wish you never threw out
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• This is the time. The time was now. And now is then. This was the time.
• This was then, and now I can't even find your grave
• tell me about the outside world. what part of it that i do not understand hurt you?
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
• It was all awesome. Then the robots took over.
• I was Dan for fifteen minutes and I never want to be Dan again
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• the day the power went out and never came back on
• Never argue with a fool
• Paul Soldner, part one
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• Is she really going out with him?
• House of Dust -- Part I -- III
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• House of Dust -- Part II -- II
• House of Dust -- Part II -- X
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• House of Dust -- Part III -- VI
• I felt a disturbance in the fun, as if a million playgrounds cried out, and then
• House of Dust -- Part IV -- VII
• out and about
• She threw out all my letters
• Kirby G6
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• "I was surprised to hear about the cat."
• Alice Paul House
• So then she said
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• She was steady
• She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
• Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom About the book
• The Day the World was about to End
• She was the seed of a strange tomorrow
• She was pain and pleasure all at once, wrapped up in needles and Ramones T-shirts
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• The students who kicked out the consultants
• Never kick a guy in the crotch!
• She was so tall, and I was so in love
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• She won't kiss him until she marries him
• It was something that sand out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• she was once a stealthy ghostship in the fog, now she shines wherever she walks
• A poem for two pages of panel art for a comic that was never written
• I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• I had never known someone whose death was imminent
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• I never even went to Las Vegas, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
• If you existed I would never get out of bed
• She had never kissed someone so old.
• I was the man who never lied. I never lied until today.
• Falling out of love with your best friend
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
• My father's secret life was never meant to be secret
• Paul Soldner, part two
• Starting out with making electronic music (jungle, techno, house, ambient and on and on)
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• There was this one great night at Alice's house,
• House of Dust -- Part I -- IV
• House of Dust -- Part II -- III
• House of Dust -- Part II -- XI
• House of Dust -- Part III -- VII
• The Tale of a Youth who set out to learn what Fear was
• House of Dust -- Part III -- XII
• Then you could make out every time there's a Jewish holiday!
• Is America a Police State?
• never talk to a Brit about America's involvement in World War II
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• I never really thought about it
• For a lawyer she was surprisingly like a child. Sometimes.
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Existentialism is that girlfriend who cheated on you. Postmodernism is who she was with.
• I Dropped Out of School, and All I Got Was This Necklace
• someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
• Kick Out The Jams
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• I got kicked out of a focus group
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• She knew what she was doing
• It was something that sang out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• English As She Is Spoke: Useful Words, Part I
• Never take a bug out of a socket with a fork
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
• She took a California tilt and never came back.
• The Epidemic That Never Was
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• never know who told it best
• The best I never had
• i kept dreaming of a world i thought i'd never see, and then one day i got in
• A Woman Who Never Was
• House of Dust -- Part I -- V
• House of Dust -- Part II -- IV
• House of Dust -- Part III -- I
• House of Dust -- Part IV -- III
• You sad cookie, you CARE more about filthy rich pretty people you'll never meet
• The day I found out I was a guy
• How Eulenspiegel cleared out the merchant's house
• David Bowie freaked me out and then some
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• Spinning shapes like a song out of order. In the dark she can see fireflies.
• Cockatoos eating you out of house and home?
• She was buttery. She was asking for it. She was delicious. Let's all give in.
• somehow I felt hopeful, as if I have finally found a ragtag army of fellow fighters, none of whom cared what socks I was wearing
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
• Isn't it about time you grew out of all that juvenile screaming nonsense?
• I Fell Out of School, and All I Found Was This Necklace
• I was tired. It was late. She was Russian.
• She went out through the bathroom window
• She was the prettiest, loveliest cat at the ball and she had upon her fine gilded whiskers.
• This is the part i wanted to see; about the mental institution
• I was going to marry Marty
• An uncle to Esther advises about Purim
• did i really change the way you think about everything? was it the chemicals in your brain?
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• I was never any good at maths at school
• There Is a Light that Never Goes Out
• I Was Looking at the Ceiling And Then I Saw the Sky

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