Nate: Oh, hello, American investor. I see you are interested in
distributing
Everything2 in you home prefecture. You have chosen wisely.
But please--don't believe me. Observe this commercial.
Begin commercial: DMan, wearing quasi-futuristic clothing, works
on his nodes. He whistles, summoning dem bones's head to leap from
its cubicle and float around the room amidst a shower of bright nodegel.
dem bones: I'm disrespectful to trolls. Can you see that I am serious?
dem bones' floating head hovers in front of the computer and removes
all the broken links. DMan is delighted with his awesome nodes. dem
bones flies into the next room, where Pseudo_Intellectual is playing
with a xylophone. He amuses P_I by bouncing on a few keys, then flies
off. In the next scene, he appears hovering above a trio of dancing women
hanging out (where else?) on the ocean floor.
dem bones: Out of my way, all of you. This is no place for Anonymous
Cowards! NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
Women: What a brave corporate logo! I accept the challenge of
dem bones.
jessicapierce: Awesome power!
An inset box appears in the upper left corner of the screen, showing
a wind-up monkey toy banging a drum. dem bones demonstrates his awesome
power by blowing up a strong wind of bracket-shaped symbols. The wind transforms
the dancing women into Sumo wrestlers. dem bones flies over a cow
pasture. dizzy is interviewing a two-headed cow.
dizzy: What are your plans for summer vacation?
The cow spots dem bones floating overhead, and is so surprised she
shatters. Her four eyes hover in mid-air for a second, then fall to the
ground and blink. Cut to a screen where Japanese slogans spiral to
a vanishing point at the center of the screen. dem bones defies this
corporate logo black hole, spiraling outward and opposite towards the camera.
Nate: For lucky best noding, use Everything2.