Sometimes I wish that I could take some kind of hypnotic therapy so that I can have my memory of this film wiped for all time, but then I think that if I did that, I might accidentally watch it again, and then the pain would be fresh again.

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The Bottom Line

Two yuppie couples get lost in rural Pennsylvania. When they are brought in on a minor traffic infraction, they end up in the clutches of an evil judge, his husky daughter, and his two hideously obese grandsons in their house-cum-Terrordome. "Hilarity" ensues as our wayward quartet try to escape.

If you like the idea of John Waters directing a Frankenstein's Monster-type sewing-together of wonderfully mismatched bits of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Ghostbusters," then you'll freaking LOVE this movie. However, if you're one of the other 95% of the people out there, it'll give you hives.

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The Rest Of The Story

Serving mostly as a vanity project for the faded stars Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd (who served as screenwriter and first-time director), this 1991 movie has gone down in the annals of time as how a weak script idea put to the full 90 minute treatment can lead to being placed on the list of least influential movies of all time.

Aykroyd had Chase and Demi Moore (fresh off the smash hit Ghost) play a banker ("financial advisor," Chase frequently corrects) and his client, off to Atlantic City for some business. With them are two "Brazillionaire" siblings (the underappreciated Taylor Negron and newcomer Bertila Damas) off for a fun day trip of gambling and debauchery. Instead, they make a wrong turn in Valkenvania, and are subsequently caught for running a stop sign by the sheriff (played by a visibly embarrassed John Candy) and taken in to see the mysterious judge.

Ahh, J.P. Valkenheiser, what can we say? Aykroyd is practically unrecognizable under the makeup, and he is obviously having way too much fun playing the sweet-but-psychotic judge. While awaiting their fate, the foursome play witness to four drug dealers being sentenced to death and tossed into a mysterious hole - which promptly spews out their bloody bones (look for a Baldwin brother cameo!)

As Valkenheiser prepares to apply a similar fate to the yupsters ("double death for being a banker"), enter stage left ... Digital Underground! Featuring the entire DU crew (Humpty Hump, Schmoovy-Schmoov, and a young Tupac Shakur in tow), they plead their case through what can only be described as the lamest rap song in history, complete with a Valkenheiser organ solo. After their hideous song, Valkenheiser's mute daughter Eldona (Candy in drag ... *shudders*) protests the imminent death of Chase, insisting that she loves him, presumably for his untapped one-liner potential. J.P. acquiesces and puts the gang of four up for the night, keeping Digital Underground around as the wedding band.

Only see this movie if you hate yourself and are desperately seeking ways to punish yourself.

IMDB user review

Now the four try to make their escape: the Brazilionnaires slip out the front door and make a break for the police (conveniently disappearing for the rest of the picture), while Chevy is forcibly subjected to dinner with the future in-laws. Watching Aykroyd stuff "Dutch heifer" hot dogs down his throat is mind-bogglingly disgusting. Finally, Chevy admits he doesn't have the hots for Eldona, and chaos ensues. Making their escape, he and Demi enter the craziest production set I have ever seen. Tilt-a-whirls, the menacing Bonestripper, and a junkyard the size of a metropolis all become fodder for hot hot cat-and-mouse action. Making their first appearances in the movie are Bobo (Aykroyd again) and Lil' Debbull, the two junk-obsessed grandsons of the judge. But these are not ordinary grown men.

They are obese ones. Like Orca fat.

In diapers.

Have you ever been in such wretched grief that your blubbering tears, swollen face and nausea blurred into a pulsing brain spasm? I experienced this trauma while watching "Nothing But Trouble." I hoped deeply that the shock would leave me unconscious but it did not... so I continue to cry.

IMDB User Review

The weakminded twinkies join in the chase, but are easily swayed by the charms of Ms. Moore (who by now had fired both her agent AND her mother for talking her into doing a comedy) and she and Chevy also make their escape. They reach the cops, explain the situation, a crack force of state troopers and FBI men surround the house, and ...

Surprise! They're all friends of the judge! Luckily, before they are returned to the Bonestripper for an instant liposuction, the entire junkyard explodes in a natural gas explosion, allowing the two lovebirds to finally live in happiness, which is more than I can say for myself.

After watching this movie I had a brain dead feeling. Maybe you know what I am talking about. If you watch the movie you will learn. It's a sort of fuzzy, unhappy feeling, where your mind just goes blank and the world seems like a terrible place to live.

IMDB User Review

Despite all of the vain attempts of the creators and actors in this film to create a gothic cartoon send-up of hell house horror pics like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the much better realized vision of Beetlejuice, this film falls flat at every opportunity. Chase as the straight man drifts through the picture, Moore is weak, and beyond the imaginative set elements (the condiment train at the dinner table, the spiraling and slanted staircases), there seems to be no sign of a plot or continuity - every idea in the movie seems to have been thought up the moment before it appeared onscreen. But what can I say that the trusty users of the Internet Movie Database haven't already? Go see it ... if you dare!

Sources

  • http://deseretnews.com/movies/view/1,1257,1337,00.html
  • http://www.modeweekly.com/2000/00.07.06/00.07.06_B-Movies.htm
  • http://us.imdb.com/CommentsShow?0102558
  • http://207.158.222.101/epbook_chapter11.htm

It's been nearly 10 years since I've seen it, and I can still smell this film.

IMDB User Review

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