November 29, 2021

Hoors Wanted!

Good news for any of you looking for work. The congressional representative that I work for has a side business which is now hiring. What he does in this side business is to run hoors all along the east coast.

If you are attractive, female, young, and willing to do anything the client wants, in or out of the bedroom, give Representative Racy Joel Carlton a call and give him your information. You must be disease free, immunized, not have a scrotum of ANY kind, and must present current medical report (up to date within the last six months).

Thanks, and happy hooring!

My hostess took us to Michigan for Thanksgiving. Your Alien Lizard Overlady here, reporting in.

My hostess is still convalescing. Friends drive her to the airport after she stays the night at their house. This is noble, because they are two hours from the airport. The usual would be to drop her at one of the ferries, but she decided that she really is not quite strong enough.

They called her. “Aren’t we driving you?”

“I thought I’d get a park and fly. I’m not that strong yet and taking my stuff on the ferry, up the hill, on to the light rail and then a hotel, well.”

“We will drive you all the way.”

“No, it’s an early flight.”

“We will drive you.”

“But it’s 6 am, so I have to be there at 4.”

“Okay, we leave at 2.”

Wow. She has some really nice friends. The folks at the other end pick us up in Detroit and it’s an hour’s drive to the town. Two houses, her old friend and the old friends son, daughter in law and three children. No internets at the old friend’s, who is twenty years older than her and sharp as a tack. Lives independently and all of that.

We are interacting with everyone. She has to wander over to the other house to use her laptop, so that happens at least once a day. Everyone eats together mostly, so seven. The kids are schlepped by car to swimming practice and bowling practice. My hostess bowls with two of the kids once. Her back immediately protests both twisting and weight. She slows way down after guttering the first three balls and then rolls a 9 mph strike. She plays one game. Her muscles bitch us out in the morning, stiff and sore. The fast twitch ones have been paralyzed for 8 months, since March, so they are grumpy and the slow twitch are damn grumpy from attempting to do double duty. She is taking naps and sleeping 7-8 hours a night. Eating has stabilized, she is much hungrier. She has not quit coffee again yet. Minimal alcohol 0-1/2 of a 5.5% beer. Still can’t eat gluten. They are trying various gluten free things, a gluten free pumpkin cake which was actually good. Dehydrated pumpkin. Fresh pumpkin in the frosting would make it even better.

We had a second hand store trip. We are sewing together wool fingerless gloves that are quite gorgeous. Lots of talking and lots of food. My hostess has her appetite back with her muscles, most of the time.

Convalescence is going well, thanks to my hostess’s friends and family.

Found a gut pile today, smack-dab in the middle of camp. Good thing there were no kids on site. At least the crows, fox, and coyotes are happy.

Not only was there a gut pile, but there was also bloody tracks from the poacher dragging it away. We followed the tracks all the way through camp, right on the main roadway, and out to the closed gate. There were tire tracks showing where a truck had pulled in to haul the carcass away.

We spent the rest of the day following trespasser's tracks, and looking for more evidence of where they may have come from - which neighboring property. The tracks from the guts lead us in a circle around camp. A frustrating amount of miles bushwhacking through multiflora and brambles, and still no real evidence who the perpetrator was. We did, however, conclude that they seems to be brazen enough to use one of our picnic shelters as their hunting blind. It was a straight shot from their to where the deer fell. Strangely, this trespasser managed to avoid all of our trails cameras we have hidden throughout the property. We wonder if we have a snitch.

After that we went back to our maintenance building to regroup, warm up, eat lunch, and I needed to tend to my feet. I had not figured on bushwhacking today, and my work boots are still being broken in. This means the heel on my right foot is hamburger at the moment.

Our next mission was to finally take down the last known contraband stand in the trees. Not an easy task. It was an impressive thirty feet up. Fortunately my co-worker is an experienced climber with all the safety equipment. I got to be look-out. I was pretty sure I smelled someone out there, though there were no tracks, no sounds, and no movement to be seen. We got the stand cut out of the tree and hauled it back to the truck.

Our final mission was to scout one last area that has historically seen illegal traffic through it. History repeated itself and tracks were found. No gut piles, no stands, but lots of tracks. These may lead to something though. This set walked by one of our hidden trail cameras. Once we can get to it without leaving a trace, maybe we will be able to catch and prosecute at least one of these fuckers.

7.6 cold miles of bushwhacking for trespassers. On the plus side, I get to explore parts of the land that usually does not see a whole lot of (legal) traffic. It's not all bad.