(an attempt to respond honestly to dannye's writeup about nude dancing)
Part of me thinks dannye's writeup is tongue-in-cheek. The rest of me, which is far more cynical than that optimistic, humor-seeking part of my brain, thinks it's an honest "what the fuck?" inquiry.
As a male, I feel qualified to answer. I am also well aware that many of the comments I am about to make will make me sound like a complete pig. Read this whole thing, though; that impression will go away.
For the purposes of this writeup, I am defining nude dancing as "a woman stripping her (already skimpy) clothing off her body piece by piece in an erotic fashion for one or more men sitting (sometimes standing) and openly ogling her".
- Appearance of the Dancers
They don't all have boob jobs. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, which has a plethora of overrated strip clubs. Much to my frustration (I like natural large breasts1, like most guys, apparently), most of the women I've seen in these clubs are natural, and small breasted. The "natural" part isn't disappointing, it's the "small" part that is :) About 50% of the women I see at these clubs are sexually attractive, in the "if I had any kind of social grace whatsoever I would ask this woman to come home with me to play with my wife and I"2 sense. Very, very few women in the strip clubs are unattractive to the point that I'd turn them down if they offered to come home with me to play in a threesome, but there are a few.
There's an overall shortage of large breasts in the clubs I've visited (this includes Spearmint Rhino, Cheetahs, Larry's Villa, Deja Vu Showgirls, Babydolls, and Striptease). Those I have seen have been mostly natural (when you're looking at a naked pair of breasts, you can see all the ripples and scars from any surgery, so it's pretty easy to tell); a few were fake. The fake ones always look pretty bad, it just sometimes takes a specific "move" to tell (they stand up when she lays down on her back, they never change shape, etc.).
The appearance and presence (or lack thereof) of pubic hair is pretty much "shaved". Occasionally they'll do goofy shapes or "landing strips", but for the most part it's just shaved bare. It's probably just part of my set of "preferences" but I honestly don't care about pubic hair -- present or not there's always something fun to look at. I guess my mind interprets it this way: if I'm being presented a chance to "critique" a woman's choice of pubic hair grooming habits, there's something much better than the pubic hair itself to be looking at.
- Do they All Hate Me?
I have two answers for this. One is a pig-headed answer that is likely the most common answer to your question, dannye. The other is my answer, or, at least, it's what I think about it.
Pig headed answer: Who cares? I're looking at naked women writhing around for tiny slices of my money. I don't care if they like me or hate me. If they want my money, they will be nice to me.
Decent answer: I'm not entirely sure they all hate my guts. They're working a job they chose to work, and probably view most guys just like a cashier views each customer coming through the checkout line. Another minute, another dollar (okay, cashiers don't get paid $60 an hour, but work with me here).
Even if they do hate me, most of them don't show it too much. And I guess I still don't care if the dancers hate me. I tip based on two things: 1) how attracted I am to the dancer, 2) how she treats me. A smile goes a long way; if I don't feel like she's just hustling me for cash (I know they all are, but it's nice to at least feel like someone is just being friendly), and she's not nasty looking (very few fit this description), I tip. Pretty simple.
Now if a dancer has a nasty look on her face, or isn't even trying to be friendly, no tip. I don't care how good she looks or how big her breasts are -- it's not that hard to smile and I won't tip someone who's just there to hate all men and take their money.
- Are We All Sick Bastards?
I dunno. I don't think I am, but I think the assertion "there's just no talking to them" is a bit strong. Try talking to me :)
The long and the short of it is simple: men go to strip clubs because they like looking at naked women. They also like to drink alcohol. They like to be around other men oggling at women so they can say crude, sexist things about the women they're attracted to.
My Redemption
Now that I've made a pig of myself, it's time to make things better again.
I don't visit strip clubs anymore. There's lots of reasons for this, but most of it stems from being a cheap bastard, not a sick one.
- Too expensive - Some clubs used to be free admission. Striptease and Larry's Villa used to advertise "no cover, no drink minimum" admission. They are topless clubs. Striptease stopped doing that last year. A few months ago, so did Larry's. Except that bastard still has up billboards all over town bragging about "no cover, no minimums".
None of the nude clubs let you in for free. Some have pretty good locals discounts, others don't. Babydolls charges every man $10 to get in, every woman $5, whether you're local or not. They're not worth the price of admission. Deja Vu Showgirls used to charge $5 per person for locals (regardless of sex). I stopped visiting there the night I took my wife and they decided to raise it to $10 per person (even though we were locals). They, too, are not worth $10 or $20 to get in the door.
Even if you get past the price of admission, the constant hustle from the dancers and the not-quite-written rule that you should be buying drinks if you're sitting in the back or tipping if you're sitting at the stage means your wallet will be taking a beating no matter what. Yeah, you can deflect the dancers and if you've got balls of steel you can sit stageside and not tip, but it's not very fun.
To be honest, for the money (figure on an average of $50-$100 spent by an average guy at one of these places -- my average is $8 :)) it's a better bargain to visit a prostitute. You not only get to look, but you get to touch and have sex and all sorts of fun stuff. That rarely costs over $300.
- Too Uncomfortable - I realized I'm just not comfortable in these places. Even the women who act nice towards me can't disguise what the strip club really is -- they just want my cash and they're not offering much in return. It's a "fantasy" my mind can't buy into (this is why prostitutes are not satisfying for me either); no way do any of these attractive (or even not-so-attractive) women care about me. They don't want me, they don't like me, they don't care at all. The fact that they're naked and will jiggle things at me in exchange for a bit of money doesn't make up for that. I'm in the minority here, I'm sure :)
Not every patron at a nude club is a creep.
1 I used to feel guilty about this, until I realized everybody has preferences about what kind of women they find attractive. Natural large breasts are an optional "bonus" -- it's not all I look for. It disappoints me to go to a strip club, pay to get in, and spend a few dollars here and there to stay up at stage seating, only to see a parade of nothing but small breasts. Shouldn't happen, not in Vegas :)
2 Yes, I'm quite serious about this. I'm faithful to my wife (my many rants about her in day logs list plenty of reasons that make me (and others) wonder why, but it's true), and would only do fun, dirty things with a hot stripper if my wife approves and can join in the fun (or lets me go off by myself).