What do you think about when someone mentions Australia? Kangaroos? Crap foreign policies? No; it's the Beer of course! But ordering a beer in Australia can be somewhat of a risky affair if you don't know what to say. Names differ from state to state, and even the same name means different sizes across the country. So, to save you from being lynched in some redneck town in the outback, here's a handy guide to quenching your thirst around Oz. This guide is only for beers on tap, there's still a huge range of bottled beer here.

The Greatest state in Australia, and also home to this country's finest beers.
170ml: A Pony. Careful though, with such a ridiculously small size, people may think you are some sort of weak Sydneysider
200ml: Simply ask for a Beer. Be warned that this may get you a Pot though. I have hardly ever seen this size though.
285ml: The Pot. The greatest and most traditional size. You'll be hard pressed to find a place which doesn't have pots. sud reckons that this is also called a middie, which brings us to:
425ml: A Middie. Not widely used, and a bit of an odd size anyway. You can find it at the football, where it's served in plastic cups. Now, there is a new name for these; a mega-pot. Stupid name, yes, but if it rescues us from Toohey's New, then bring it on.
485ml: A Schooner. Some places have these instead of pints, but they're becoming a little uncommon.
500ml: Sud says he's gotten this when he asked for a pint. I don't know where though, when I ask for pints I always receive;
570ml/568ml: A Pint, and in the proper (ie. British) size. The most economical, and results in the least trips to the bar - The only way to drink!

South Australia
Definitely in contention for the worst state in Australia, at least you can drown your sorrows.
200ml: A Butcher. I don't know why either. ((smokng0at says I have lived in Adelaide all my life and have never ever heard someone call any form of beer container a "butcher".))
285ml: A Schooner. Perhaps they just can't handle their beer.
425ml: A Pint. See above.

Western Australia
The biggest state in Australia, and fuck! Does it get hot there. Better drink up...
200ml: A Beer should see you right, but if it doesn't, ask for a Bobby.
285ml: A Middie. Always being difficult.
425ml: A Pint. I'd be disappointed if I got this, coming from Victoria.
570ml: Sideways informs me (as a local of WA) that when he orders a pint this is what he always receives.

Northern Territory
It may even get hotter here than in WA, so beer is a neccessity. This is the red(neck) centre, and has the highest beer consumption per head. 'Nuff said.
200ml: A Seven, or a Seven Ounce. In honour of Imperial Measurements.
285ml: A Pot, a Beer, or a Handle.
425ml: A Schooner.

You may have heard Queensland described as God's Country. Why God decided to fill it with wankers is still a mystery. At least it's relatively easy to order a beer.
200ml: A Glass.
285ml: A Pot. And don't ever forget it.
425ml: A Schooner, or a Middie.

New South Wales
Not a bad place to visit, but you wouldn't want to stay there too long. Watch out for storms, and don't get hit by huge hailstones.
200ml: A Seven, a Glass, or a Beer. They might have a whinge at you for ordering a Beer though.
285ml: A Middie. Weakling New South Welsh bastards!
425ml: A Schooner. See above.
570ml: A Pint

Not such a nice place to visit, or to live, and they hold on to the oudated imperial glass measurements.
170ml: A Six, a Six Ounce, or a Beer.
200ml: A Seven, or a Seven Ounce.
225ml: An Eight, or Eight Ounce. I don't know if I've ever seen this size...
285ml: A Ten, or Ten Ounce, and you might be able to get away with a Beer.
425ml: A Pint. Disgraceful.

There *is* one size that's standard throughout Australia, ask for a 'Jug', and you will be in possession of 1140ml of beer, whereever you go.

As you can see, ordering a beer is difficult to say the least. Mind, which sort of beer is easy. always ask for a 'Vic', or 'VB'. No one here drinks Fosters.

I found some of this info in 'VB's Shout' magazine, so if you're a local to one of these states and you reckon I've got something wrong, /msg me.

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