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True story.

Bar patron: Hi. Lemme have the usual.

Bartender: Hey, where you been? Haven't seen you in weeks.

Bar patron: Had to go out of town.

Bartender: Yeah? Where?

Bar patron: I was in Brooklyn.

Bartender: Brooklyn, New York?

Bar patron: Yeah.

Bartender: We're in Brooklyn now, asshole.

Bar patron: Shit! I'm still here?!

Bartender: Yeah. You've been a regular at this bar for over a year.

Bar patron: My wife is gonna be pissed.

A well dressed and very sped-up guy spoke exasperatedly and hushedly to his friend as they walked in. If I hadn't been bussing a table right by them I might not have heard, but he was still speaking more loudly than he thought he was.

Next time will you pleeeease not just whip it out right away? We didn't know that limo driver, he might not have been cool. I could tell Sheila was weirded out. We want to impress them, remember?!

What, the drugs or my unit?

the guy:
Well, either, really! But especially the shit, man. At least the emergence of your dick wasn't surprizing anyone.

heh..heh..the blow or the blow? heh.

the guy, rolling his dilated pupils to oblivion:
yeah, you really just crack yourself up, don't ya. Yeah, we're all really amused.

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