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I grew up in a simpler time. Neighbors looked out for each other, a man's word was his bond, and you were safe to walk down the street. And on gentle summer evenings, we would gather around the television after watching Lawrence Welk and delight to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I can remember many a summer night watching Jim wrestling a water buffalo to the ground while Marlin Perkins kept up a monotone running commentary from the safety of the jeep. These men were the epitome of the naturalist: tanned, rugged men in khaki who explored God's creation with a net and tranquilizer gun while hawking insurance coverage.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered what kind of sickos have tarnished the good name of naturalists everywhere. A recent article on CNN.COM relates the efforts of the staff in a China zoo to get a pair of tigers to mate. Due to the disinterest of the male tiger, these quack scientists are resorting to the use of Viagra to get the male tiger to complete his God-given right as a tiger. In my day, we didn't have these kind of problems. Tigers were plentiful, roaming the wild plains of Africa as was intended. There were so many tigers, because tigers knew what to do when the lights were low and the music was soft. Now there are so few of them that these so-called professionals are having to help the tigers along with drugs. It's just not natural.

Even worse, the same article mentions that these same scientists have resorted to the basest of means to engender unnatural lust in the cuddliest of all God's creatures, the panda. When two pandas in captivity were not making whoopie as much as these perverts wanted, they began to show the pandas video footage of other pandas engaged in intimacy. That's right: panda porn!

What kind of sickos cause poor innocent creatures like pandas to watch other pandas doing "it"? Do they want the pandas to go blind, because that will be the first we know of it if they start to relieve their pent-up desires in an unnatural way, because the other warning sign, hair on the palms, is a little useless with pandas. And what about the videos themselves? From what I am told, the production values of such films are cheap at best, with cheesy dialogue and bad sets. To subject the poor creatures to such a horrible experience is beyond the pale.

I just pray that the people of E2 will rise up in outrage when they learn what these men are doing. I hope that others will realize that our children will miss out on the pleasure of seeing a bald eagle shot with a trank gun so that he can be tagged, if we don't act soon. I just pray it is not too late.

This animalistic voyeurism regarding panda porn has recently become incarnate with an article in The Washington Post.

It turns out that after just over a year of platonic romps, Tian Tian got the idea into his head to jump her bones.

As recounted by zoo officials, the 265-pound male giant panda jumped the 205-pound female without warning, bit her, pinned her down and tried to mate with her.
Well, after being attacked by this brute Mei Xiang escaped up in her favorite tree where she stayed for the next day and a half. Zoo officials are hoping that the two will mate during their 10 year stay in Washington.

The zoo's previous panda pair, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, a gift from China, didn't mate for several years, in part because the male was a tad inept.

One hopes that the male panda ego is more robust than that of humans. A tad inept? Come on people - tell the world why don't you?!


http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&contentId=A22611-2002Mar26

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