Parking Violation

This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your Bull headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. Besides I don't like domineering, egotistical or simple minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories.

I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also may the Fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

My nominee would be the story I heard once about this guy in Chicago who dug out a parking space for himself, went to get his car, and returned only to find the space already occupied. Now, the normal, reasonable reaction would be to get angry and find another spot.

This person did not take the normal, reasonable route.

He hooked up the ol' garden hose and sprayed the offending vehicle with water until it was coated in an two-centimeter-thick layer of ice, after which he left in explaination a note that read, "Want the spot? Fine! It's yours 'till spring!"

Rude, peverse, quite probably illegal--but definitely not overly subtle.

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