Since our CEO first heard Marlon Brando's advice in The Graduate, Plastic Spork Conglomerate Amalgamated has been the industry leader in synthetic flatware hostile takeovers. Through aggressive posturing, market awareness, and weekly management-mandated paradigm shifts, PSCA has sought to excise the thermoplastic dining utensil units from the other producers in our key market--General Electric, Pratt & Whitney, DuPont, and many more--with large sums of money that exist largely in magnetic storage media in Switzerland and the Bahamas.

Because of our commitment to low-cost, single-source sporks, we bring competing companies closer together to better serve you with lightweight, flexible sporks and spork paraphernalia. The merger of Phalanx Forks International's Phoenix division, and the Albuquerque campus of Sirius Cereal Accessories, Ltd., was brought about as a direct result of careful negotiations conducted by PSCA. After both companies were massively devalued by unfounded and untraceable rumors of their imminent demise, PSCA purchased both of them and merged them like a seven-year-old trying to breed rabbits and weasels, saving the spork market from devolving into arguing fiefdoms, and pushing the free market closer to its natural balanced end condition.

PSCA is the current and future leader in spork technology and a market driver in catering to the Spork Lifestyle, one of the global economy's fastest-growing niche target focus group markets. Call now for your prospectus!

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