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Ingredients Get a big ol' baking dish, preferably deep and nonreactive. Pour most of the port and Guinness over the beef (which you have already put into the dish). Throw the onions randomly about the baking dish, taking care to cover the meat well. Press the garlic over the beef, and grate the carrot over it as well to add vitamin A which helps your night vision. Add the oil, soy, bay leaves, and rosemary. Add the ginger to the marinade (not over the steak) as well as the black pepper. Rub the onions and grated goodness on the steak, then turn it over. Marinate for quite some time.

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Toss the mushrooms into the dish. Make two or three small cuts into the meat and shove a whole (peeled) garlic clove into each cut. Place the dish, meat and marinade and all, right into the oven. Roast for 15 minutes or so, then turn over, taking care to re-cover the beef with the onions and juices. If you're making rosemary garlic potatoes, put them into the oven now. After another 15 minutes, the meat should be done to medium doneness.

Let the beef rest for a couple of minutes, then remove it to a cutting board. Put the beef gravy in a pot with the pan juices and everything left in the dish (onions, mushrooms, what have you). Add a little more wine and Guinness, if you have any. Chop the reserved mushroom stems and add them to the pot. Bring to a boil and let cook for about 5 minutes. It will be thin, but smell incredible.

Carve the meat and cover with the gravy. Serve with rosemary garlic potatoes, and follow with JessicaPierce's gaspingly good brownies. You may also want a light salad and some toasted Italian bread. Candles add to the atmosphere as long as you remember to light them and not add them to the food.

Drinks: use the rest of the wine or Guinness. If you don't drink alcohol, Martinelli's sparkling apple cider goes nice, as does grape soda.

Serves 2-4, depending on how hungry you are. (You'll probably be very hungry from smelling the sauce cooking.)

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