Have we lost the
power of
yes and
no?
It takes
courage to
say no.
Women and people who consider themselves
polite /
kind /
generous /
talented /
hip often find it impossible to say no. Not just to
sex or
drugs, but requests for
money or
help or
time, or to agree with someone else's
opinion and go along with
wrongdoing. Reclaiming NO is vital to reclaiming your life if you are
overworked and
stressed, if you are
abused, if you are being
attacked. You do not owe anything to anyone unless you agree to. Say no nicely, kindly, firmly, sternly; just remember that you have NO to use when you need it.
The power of YES is something we hear less about.
Negativity is so
fashionable for the
chic and the
geek. We love to be
sarcastic,
cynical, and
skeptical. And we don't like to commit to something that makes us yearn to say
yes!, whether it's
love,
religion,
mono no aware, a
sense of wonder, a
chance at happiness... or even a sentimental
movie. Yes is also an admittance. "Yes, I am a
feminist," "Yes,
I'm gay," "Yes, I'm
Christian." But not a
confession. It's not a
sin to be
you. Yes is sometimes even a
surrender, but not in
defeat. Saying "Yes,
I love you" is not a giving up or giving in. It's a removal of
barriers--and that's
frightening. It takes
courage to
say yes, but the barriers you break down lead you to
better things.
this self-help moment brought to you by John Locke's Literature of the Heroine class. sorry. ;p