Someone mentioned that Princeton was one of the few places with black squirrels. Well, they do indeed have black squirrels. In the Princeton Illuminatus game, the Black Squirrels are a group of illuminati. They also have eating clubs, DFS, the Wa, the Dinky, Die for the Inn, a college Hall named for an alum wanted for fraud in Hong Kong, a building so ugly that when it was submitted for an architectural project at Princeton it was roundly failed - but the designer became rich enough to buy the irony, and more. Perhaps you fancy God's Bitchin' Single? Maybe the depths of Firestone, complete with carrels for you thesismonsters. There's a sculpture known onomotovisually as the Flying Fuck! A cannonball hole in the wall of Nassau Hall is said to have been put there by those obnoxious Colonials while shelling the B.E.F., some of whom were barricaded inside in the forlorn hopes that those barbaric Revolutionaries wouldn't blow holes in their own building.

Do I sound like a yearbook yet?

Or maybe an Orange Key Guide?

I may or may not have attended, though. Perhaps I'm staff. Perhaps I'm faculty. Perhaps...perhaps the Department of Public Safety there has some vicious problems with racial profiling. Perhaps the P-rade is P-ointless. Perhaps the mathematicians there got a tower because of penile insecurity.

Then again, I could be making all of this up.

I miss Palmer Stadium.

The lake at the southeast end of campus is a man-made lake, given by and named for Andrew Carnegie, steel baron extraordinaire.

Whatever you do, though, if you're a student, don't leave the campus by the main gates or you won't graduate.

Oh, and the motto is really They Got Nice Widgets.

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