rent-a-cop

Being a rent-a-cop, I have absolutely no respect for the law or security, nor do I strike fear in the hearts of criminals, being a 5'6", 21-year-old girl. I sit at a desk, hand out badges, watch a monitor, and make sure the ceiling isn't dripping. I'm only a security guard because it pays $9/hour, and I want to go to grad school.

I could care less if a criminal broke in. As my mother says, "Just nod your head and give them what they want. The hell with company loyalty--that insurance company doesn't even pay you!." Right on, mom.

Am I sub-standard? Sure--but this isn't my life, man. I work three days of the week, sitting at a desk and writing short plays. What could be better?

These units tend to be called "Public Safety Officers". They patrol places such as the malls and office buildings of our lives. Such workers can often be seen talking to women as if they were trying to impress them with their average job and garb. When given a vehicle, it tends to have an small engine and yellow warning lights that to me say little more than "caution". These "cops" seem to aspire to be real law enforcement agents, but instead fall far short of their goal with their tasks of asking children not to play in fountains and keeping our world safe from skateboarders. In a different view, rent-a-cops are like the story of Pinoccio trying to become a real boy, but on the way finding their way off track.