A traditional sea chantey of unknown origin and unknown period. To my knowledge, it has never been recorded. This one is quite bawdy in a suggestive, though not explicit manner. The chorus is reapeated after every couplet.
If all of the girls were bells in a tower
And I was a Sexton, I'd bang on the hour
Oh roll your leg over, roll your leg over
Roll your leg over the man in the moon
If all of the ladies were bricks in a pile
And I was a mason, I'd lay them in style

If all of the ladies were little white flowers
And I was a bee, I'd suck them for hours

If all of the ladies were moles in the grasses
And I was a mole, I'd smell the molasses

If all of the girls were rushes a-growing
I'd take out my scythe and start in a-mowing

If all of the girls were fish in the ocean
And I was a wave I would teach them the motion

If all of the ladies were wrecks on the shoals
And I was a shipwright, I'd plug up their holes

If all of the ladies were vessels of clay
And I was a potter, I'd make them all day

If all of the ladies were gigantic whales
And I was a barnacle, I'd set on their tails

If all the young girls were bullets of lead
And I was a rifle, I'd bang 'til they were dead

If all of the ladies were statues of Venus
And I was a Greek with a petrified penis

If all of the girls were fish in a pool
And I was a whale with a waterproof tool

If all of the girls were like wine in a glass
I would drink so much that I'd fall on my ass

If all the young girls were built each like a shoe
And I were a foot, I'd do what I could do

If all the ladies were mares in a corral
And I were a stallion, I'd make them immoral

If all of the girls were little white rabbits
And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits

If all them young ladies were fluffy gray kittens
And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's

If all them young ladies were bats in a steeple
And I were a bat, there'd be more bats than people

If all of the ladies were mares in the stable
And I was a groom, I'd mount all I was able

If all them young ladies weres diamonds and rubies
And I were a jeweler, I'd shine up their boobies

If all the young ladies were singing this song
It would be twice as dirty and ten times as long!

The following verses are obviously more modern than the rest.

If all the young ladies were B-29's
And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds

If all the young ladies were up for improvement
I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement

If all the young ladies were wheels on a car
Then I'd be the piston and drive twice as far

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