It doesn't matter how cool you are, how long you've been out of college or how sophisticated you think you are. You can appreciate the value of a dollar and the good sense in turning a few of those washingtons into your stumbling drunk ass. 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor will get you drunker quicker for cheaper and self-limit themselves to your level of drink. Look at your fancy friends, drinking their
chipolteindiapalestoutwoodchuckexportnutbrowncidersteambarleyporter microbrew. at the end of the night, you're both going to be drunk, but you'll have an extra twenty bucks in your pocket and less pretention to your name. Anyone that bashes your beautiful economics sense has too much money on their hands and you should get them to buy you drinks. If you find yourself in the former catagory and not in the latter, read on. You'll make fast friends with your buddies that share the same good sense as you.
Quick
pronunciation note: a forty is
pronounced as "fohty".
i owe a lot of thanks to my
friend Mark's younger days as a
deliquent for some of these and our own
forty nights for most. i'm an
Olde English "800" man, but you should experiment and find out which brand of
malt liquor you like the best.
Proceed at your own risk!
Purchasing
- If you have N members of your drinking group, you must purchase N forties (or a nonzero positive integer multiple of N) at the time.
- Paying for forties with loose change should be used as a last resort or for shits and giggles.
- Save all your receipts, as they will help you recall how much you drank the next morning.
Drinking
- Everyone must crack the top on their first forty together.
- The first gulp should last as long as humanly possible to get as much malt liquor down in the first swallow.
- You have 15 minutes to drink your forty after you have cracked the top. Making derogatory comments about the slow progress of your peers is highly recommended.
- Writing your name on the bottles with a Sharpie is a good idea, as it will help you distinguish yours from someone else's after a bathroom break.
- You may take as long as you need between forties
- If someone is ahead of you, playing "catch up" is highly recommended. This is a group effort!
- As forties are consumed, place the bottles on the floor so you may admire the mound of empty glass the next day.
- Tip out that last bit of your 40 for all things lost and remembered. It's mostly warm, foamy and backwash anyway.
et cetera...
- Proper music is a must. Try Snoop Doggy Dogg's Doggystyle, NWA's Straight Outta Compton, the Beastie Boys, Sublime, A Tribe Called Quest, Cypress Hill, OutKast or whatever else you think might tickle your fancy. Keep it upbeat.
- Have a bathroom nearby, for dog's sake! You're drinking a hell of a lot of fluid here.
- Don't drive, operate heavy machinery, do calculus (that's right, don't drink and derive!), vote or try to pick up chicks/guys while doing this.