Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Saying that they don't know how to wipe their own butts is not far off the mark, especially when kings used to employ servants for such a task"

• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• You pass a thousand heroes on the street every day and never know how well they are carrying their burdens
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• not what words are used, but how they are used
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• telling people what they don't need to know
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
• People don't flail when they die
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• The hostages wrote thank you cards to their captors when they got home.
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• Don't worry, I know how to let go.
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• And I don't even know their names
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• when you are young they assume you know nothing
• I used to fly like peter pan, all the children flew when I touched their hands
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• armed with nothing but their own vision
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• I know there are other fish in the sea but I don't want them
• I didn't know how to keep it but I couldn't throw it away.
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I don't mind it when authors take their time
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• I don't know how to read science fiction
• Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, especially before they have their coffee
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• You know you're in a terrible mood when the songs don't work
• I don't know how the fuck you can sleep at night
• if drivers don't use their turn signals
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
• Scientist hits head on curb joke
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• When the Ram and the Pig Went to the Forest to Live on Their Own
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
• I don't know how to fall in love with a woman
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• I just don't know when to quit.
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• Words that don't mean the same as they used to
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• I don't know how to smile
• What they don't know can't hurt them
• Stoned music memories
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• One of my IRC friends died and I don't know how to feel
• beside a moon that don't know when to quit
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• they don't know what they'd do without me
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• They don't know what I've done
• I don't know what I don't know, so how do I know what to ask?
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Why don't people remember how to use rotary phones?
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• How do you know when someone's your best friend?
• How to argue about something you don't know literally a single thing about
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• You know a writer has made it when they stop posting on e2
• The economy has hit everyone hard. Well, everyone who hasn't lost track of how many houses they own, anyhow.
• Eye contact at a distance
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
• When each had their own personal anthem
• When you make your own mother cry you know you've fucked up
• How do you know when your relationship is over?
• Children are people readers and they know when you are fiction
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• he doesn't know, but her eyes widen too far
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• You don't know me, but someday you will
• I Bet You Don't Know When The Song Is Going To End
• they couldn’t speak at all; so used to disuse were their tongues
• I didn’t know why it took girls so long to do their makeup until someone showed me how to dismantle the patriarchy with an allen wrench and a roast chicken ballotine.
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• They don't know what they're missing
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Good from far, but far from good
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• Don't take this personally, but it's personal
• But we should not be afraid. How else will we discover the answers?
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• don't work from ideas toward reality, but from reality toward ideas
• All gods but your own
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
• And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• Maybe you were inherently complicated, maybe you've been complicated over the years, but know that you are complicated.
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"
• Things people put up their butts
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• My skin will remember your skin, but I will no longer know. I will be a ghost forever
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• You wouldn't know it, but I think you're achingly beautiful
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• They fed off each other, which is unusual in a couple, but nice to see.
• They say time makes things easier but only time will tell
• But what are they really thinking?
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Don't be a smartass and offer up a contrived solution that *technically* solves the puzzle but goes against its spirit
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• they carry but they do not understand
• They had left, but her mascara kept running
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• I know you are, but what am I?
• I could never draw but they made me an artist
• ships are safest in harbor, but they were made to sail
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• but my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• Little lights that don't blink off but fade out instead
• The fire behind their eyes died slowly and silently until nothing but the shells remained
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Keep doing it, but don't call it that
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• We don't look for trouble but if it comes we don't run

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