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Secret transcript: Bush and Chirac debate Iraq.
With apologies to Dr. Seuss.

By Dave Koehler

That Jacques Chirac!
That Jacques Chirac!
I do not like that Jacques Chirac!

Do you like Saddam Hussein?

I do not like him, Jacques Chirac.
I do not like Saddam Hussein.

Would you like him here or there?

I would not like him here or there.
I would not like him anywhere.
I do not like Saddam Hussein.
I do not like him, he is insane.

Do you like him in a house?
Do you think he is a louse?

I do not like him in a house.
I do not like him, he’s a louse.
I do not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere.
I do not like Saddam Hussein.
I do not like him, he is insane.

Do you like him in Iraq?
Or are you planning to attack?

I do not like him in Iraq.
I do now plan to attack.
I’m going to bomb him here and there.
I’m going to bomb him everywhere.
I do not like Saddam Hussein.
I do not like him, he is insane.

Would you? Could you? In his car?
Will you bomb him from afar.

I would bomb him, could bomb him, in his car.
I would bomb him, could bomb him, from afar.

You say Iraqis will be glad.
You just want his oil so bad

It’s not about oil, he is mad.
Do you know, he tried to kill my Dad.

I will bomb him in his car.
I will bomb him from afar.
I will bomb him in his house.
I do not like him, he’s a louse.
I’m going to bomb him here and there.
I’m going to bomb him everywhere.
I do not like Saddam Hussein.
I do not like him, he is insane.

We could talk with him instead
Global anger is widespread.

Remove those thoughts from your head.
Soon Saddam will be dead!

I’ll use my veto, against John Wayne
The world says no, you must refrain.

I will get him with England and Spain.
His WMDs can cause much pain.

No one believes all your lies.
There must be some compromise

Saddam will fall, and when he dies
I will toast his death with freedom fries.

I will get him, he can not hide.
I cannot fail, God’s on my side.

I will bomb him in his car.
I will bomb him from afar.
I will bomb him in his house.
I do not like him, he’s a louse.
I’m going to bomb him here and there.
I’m going to bomb him EVERYWHERE!


Reprinted from March 18, 2003 Quirked with the author's permission
http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/204-03202003-61030.html

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