Secrets to Living in "The Big Room"

• The first assumption you must make is that everyone (including you) is essentially stupid
• Trying to debunk the first assumption will result in extreme frustration
• Though difficult, remember this when you consider getting back online: reconnection involves deleting the 47 pornographic spam emails that have come in in the 17.2 minutes yo'uve been away
• All other beings will behave irrationally at one point or another
• The main reason for this behavior: "I dunno."
• Members of the opposite sex will, from your point of view, behave 72% more irrationally that those members of your sex.
• The reason they behave that way? Your fault. This is non-debatable
• For practical purposes, you can simply assume the creation of your world consisted of:
  1. Take one large ball of dirt.
  2. Add Water
  3. add roughly 1,000,000 living things
  4. Shake vigorously
  5. Simmer, agitating ingredients roughly every 240 Million Years
• Don't hit people and chances are they wont hit you
• People that live an insanely healthy lifestyle are the ones that get hit by busses and struck dead by forces of nature
• People that live unhealthy lifestyles fare no better, but they tend to die a lot slower

When you think about it, thats the rough sketch right there.