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What is the point? Oh, don’t read that and pretend you either know the answer or never cared. Just seriously, ask yourself, what the fuck is the point? I would assume getting the most out of life, the whole sucking the marrow out of it theory; Carpe Diem sort of speak. Yeah, that’s what I think. Thought. Will think. Pick a tense. Then, of course, you have to eye the curve of the ball. The sink. The break. Swing now? No no, not yet, timing’s all wrong. The problem is life doesn’t want you sucking its marrow. Life isn’t in the habit of sharing.

So, this would be the part where I’d say, “get the fuck off your ass and attack life, make it your bitch.” Yeah, that’s the pep talk or some facsimile thereof. Life has this cute little setup where it taunts you with some nice pie piece and quickly whips away the welcoming mat. You fall down some stairs, three or four at a time, landing in some sort of animal feces or grease spot near the driveway which, of course, someone of masterful consideration wouldn’t dare cleanup for fear you might fall into a clear spot of soft grass.

But Ryan (that’s what you say), But Ryan shouldn’t we keep a positive attitude and try our hardest knowing we will reap the rewards? But schmuck (that’s what I say to the sucker who said that first line to me), But schmuck, how can you fall for the sunshine is always pretty and all good deeds see rewards drivel that dumb asses who live at #1 Happy Street subscribe to? It’s pretty simple: life is an odd lottery. I will concede that hard work increases your chances of fantastic rewards but you must reciprocate that life always has a little house edge on fucking you right in the ass when you bend over to pick up that little old lady’s groceries that life probably fucked right out of her hands as she slipped to break her hip no matter how many years she contributed as a nurse in countless hospitals sweating blood and tears over endless dieing patients.

Well you callous sonofabitch (that’s what you call me now), you just need to turn that frown upside down! (insert two sounds here: my fist hitting your face, you hitting the floor).

Looks like life hits us all in one-way or another.

I was working on my sabre23t.blogsite.org, when I finally decided to update the lists of my online "teh tarik" hangouts. Sadly, have to relegate E2 to my "occassional hangouts" list. That prompted a visit here after another long while, almost 9 months this time. Anyway, here are some of the things I did and noticed this time around:

Some of my thoughts (while noding this) on why my time at E2 is remembered fondly ...

Until we meet again, SLATFATF.

I was part of a very loud, very proud, very female angry mob today.

"Women, reclaim the streets!" was their protest cry. That, catcalls, ululations and loud metal music.

I walked with them. After a wedding and pasta dinner, I had time to kill until my train home left - I ran into them, and something clicked.

"Sloggi = Sexistenlobby" was another of their slogans. They gave me a flyer. They're young. Proud. And angry.

I don't fit in - hey - I just returned from a wedding. I didn't expect to walk with a demo through our Capital city.

They're all clad in black, autonomous, red shoelaces, short hair (I fit in there), energetic, and loud.

I walk with them, because their issues concern me. This summer I had a few revelations.

This summer I awoke from part of my world. In my world being a woman is neither an advantage nor a disadvantage. Gender has never been an issue. I am Cindy. And that's it. I happen to be female, and that's neat. So, I can have babies and look a bit different and stuff. Hey, next life I might be a man, who knows. This time round I'm a woman, and that's it. End of discussion.

That's what I thought.

This summer I realised that that was in my world only. In this, the "real" world, in this Western, civilised world, with our equal rights laws and women suffragette, in this world there are still gender based differences.

They are not blatant and obvious anymore - I have the right to vote, I can attend any school I like to, I'm supposed to earn the same salary for the same job - yet...

There are differences.

Some unconscious even, some obvious.

Guys at night (well, evening after nightfall) give me catcalls. I hate that. On the train home they give me the look. I hate that. They wouldn't do that to another guy - would they? I ignore them and despise them in their alcohol induced stupor.

"Women, reclaim the streets!"

That's just part of it. The part that really pisses me off is the subtle part. The part people are hardly conscious of. The most obvious part there is the whole "yeah, it's nice that you have this really cool education and it's neat that we let you work for a bit, but I think you and I we both agree that kids are best raised by their mothers."

Girls here are taught how to cook, how to mend, how to clean - guys - well... If they're lucky their parents taught them.

The other, more unconscious part is in schools. Teachers, subconsciously pushing boys more in one and girls more in other directions. Guidance counsellors recommending certain choices, lines of career, based on some vague subconscious idea about gender.

At university - every 2nd student is female, only every 14th professor is a woman. Lack of ambition? Lack of support?

And then, at work, why is there still a difference in pay? And in career chances?

There are tons more examples - This rant has been written before, and probably needs to be written time and time again.

This summer I woke from my world where these issues were not any issues because it was clear that gender had no influence in my chances on life. I realised, that though my world is probably ideal it is far far from the real world.

Today, I realised that I'm not alone in my realisation.

Every day seems to bring yet another load of unbelievable crap from what passes for an American administration. This country must be on some kind of drug bender, for only a comatose couch potato could sit still and accept this fascist insanity.

Bush has damaged America in more ways and to a depth unthought of in our enemies wildest fantasies. He has squandered our money, our allies, and our future. He has turned the world against us, turned us against ourselves, and made the word "American" mean stupid aggression.

And now this:

WASHINGTON - To aid the fight against terrorism, the Bush administration wants to add a subpoena power that does not require federal investigators to seek approval from a judge or grand jury. Justice Department officials say use of "administrative subpoenas" would enable the FBI to obtain information from records or witnesses that might more quickly prevent a terror strike.

Critics say the extension of power is unnecessary and would permit investigations with no judicial supervision. (Duh.)

What is going on here? Where is the hue and cry? If this was a Democratic administration, the President would have already been impeached for claiming that he served his full term in the Air National Guard. Yet the Right seems to just give this mutt a pass on everything, watching him piss our country down the toilet. Bush is treating America like a corporate raider raping a hostile acquisition.

When will America wake up? How much of the Constitution will be destroyed before we finally throw this crew of misfits out of office?

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