My biggest realization in life is that it isn't what I thought it'd be. I realized this several years ago and though you think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not.
Life is not like a book, where words make the world seem more beautiful then it really is. It is not a movie, where depression is 5 minutes and a sad song. Life is unpredictable, random, and unknowable. Life hands you both the goods and the bads.... in one hand I hold a sweet delicious cupcake, in the other I hold a steaming pile of shit.
I am full of love and goodness, but I am also full of trepidation. People who you trust and love and admire give up on you and you suddenly feel lost and alone. In times like these you have to fall back on what you know.
But what do you know? That's the kicker. You have to figure out what you know before you can fall back on it and find your way again.
August 13, 2008:
Hey, you! Sad kid! PLEASE. I beg of you. Stop hitting the "I like it!" link. I am tired of getting the alerts* that say you are not only are comparing your sad existence to my own pathetic life, but you enjoy it enough to click a link which alerts me to this fact. If you seriously enjoyed reading this indulgent dribble, go to my profile and use the contact info I've provided to tell me why, or please just let me know how on earth you even found this crap in the first place. I prefer feedback with substance and information as opposed to the anonymous messages I've been getting which say "Hey, Sweet! Someone likes the fact that your life sucks! Here's a daily reminder of the fact!"
Sorry if I seem a bit bitchy, it's been nearly a whole year since I submitted this write-up, and not much has changed. Ain't life grand....
*Yeah I know I could turn the alerts off, but I hope that someday someone will perhaps find another write up of mine that is actually decent and decide to click that link....