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This was a dead hardlink from Sexual Myths About Women.

Let's see, we've got the myths that women believe about men, and those that men belive about themselves. Where to start?

  • All men can get instantly hard on demand and stay that way for hours.
  • Men should be able to time their orgasm perfectly - anyone who can't is sexually inept.
  • All men think that getting oral sex is the greatest thing in the world, and aren't in the least bit embarrassed to have a woman face-to-face with their penis, regardless of its size or shape.
  • Men are always happy with their own bodies. They aren't all insecure the way women are.
  • Men only like tall, impossibly thin blondes with blue eyes and enormous tits.
  • They also have no interest in an actual relationship or romance with a woman: anything they say or do is to get a woman in bed.
  • The kinkier the sex, the more a man will like it. Unless he's a weenie.
  • It's impossible for a woman to rape or take advantage of a man. Hey, he's the one with the dick, right?

Most of these are really sexual myths about hetero men, but ...

Some think that we like tanned female bodies with pale breasts. One night,I was riding with my friends Ross and Casey in Casey's car. Earlier that day, Casey had bought an "erotic spoken word" CD... I don't recall why he'd purchased it, but he started playing it as we were driving along, as we were all curious to hear what such a thing would be like. Well, it was rather disappointing all around, being fairly boring in addition to having terrible voice-acting, but the worst thing about it were the corny male sexual fallacies it contained.

The story went like this: two women were stuck at home after being ditched by their boyfriends when they were supposed to be on dates, and started fooling around. They got to the bit where one takes off her bra, and the other woman says "You've got nice tan lines. Men all love those pale white triangles...". Ross, Casey and I look angrily at the CD player and shout "No we DON'T!" in perfect unison.

Believe me, girls, it's not true. Frankly, I find tans rather unattractive in general.

Possibly the biggest, most universally believed, and most ridiculous sexual myth about men is the belief that there is no such thing as bad sex for a man. This is so strongly codified in myth, legend, and entertainment that it even has men believing it. But there's more to sex than orgasm, and even if there wasn't, there are orgasms, and then there are ORGASMS. They are certainly not all the same, as anyone who's ever had one -- hmm, better make that two -- can tell you. Sex can be as much the emotional as the physical, and good sex often is -- But not always.

Pseudo_Intellectual mentioned to me that I might want to consider mentioning something about the difference between orgasm and ejaculation. While it's a deviation from my original point, it is another excellent sexual myth to point out. There is a strong belief that there is no male orgasm which does not include ejaculation. This is untrue. The most common (or acknowledged) cause for this is "running dry" after having a significant number of orgasms, which is known as firing blanks. However, it is possible to have an orgasm whose associated muscular contractions are not strong enough to propel semen from the body.

Part of the reason for the propagation of such myths is almost certainly the awkwardness that most people feel when discussing anything of a sexual nature, especially if they feel that there is chance that they might hurt the other party. If the meat of what you are trying to import to your partner is that what they are doing is not what works best for you, it is somewhat natural to feel awkward. Most of us have been trained not to speak freely about sex by our parents, our educators, and the media.

In addition, the sensationalist media propagates myths about both genders freely. The much-maligned so-called "women's magazines" like Cosmopolitan (The usual favorite target,) which present articles on "how to drive your man wild" and the like, make it seem as if all men were the same, and of course they are not, psychologically or physically. One lady once told me that she had read in one such magazine a suggestion that the woman address the penis directly, and tell it what she was going to do to it, because men would find it to be "hot". We did get quite a few laughs out of the idea, but I certainly did not find it exciting. While this is an example of the triumph of free thinking and a willingness to be open with one's partner, it could easily have gone the other way, and almost certainly has, with other couples. How do you react when someone does something during sex which you find not only unappealing, but frankly ridiculous?

As always, the way to avoid the maintenance of such myths is to avoid making assumptions, and to communicate with not only your partner, but anyone else you can bring yourself to feel comfortable with. Asking and answering questions is still one of the best ways to get a point across, and real time communication allows one to ask for further clarification. Sex tends to engender strong feelings, so a lack of communication can turn into a significant problem. The more you learn, the more you can share with others, and the more willing you are to share, the more all can be enriched.

As long as we're talking about the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, let's get to an extremely pervasive myth:

Every ejaculation means an orgasm.

While that may be far many (or most, I don't know) men, the fact is that it ain't so. If I had an orgasm for every time I've come, I'd have a big sloppy grin.

Here are a few more:

All gay/bi men are sluts.
Straight men don't like anal play.
All men are obsessed with penis size.
The same goes for breasts. The bigger, the better.
Men don't like foreplay.
All men enjoy having their backs carved by nails.
All hetero men are obsessed with lesbians.

There aren't a lot of sexual areas in which popular opinion isn't wrong.

Neil Stephenson nailed down one of the big reasons for this misinformation in Diamond Age:

Bud's relationship with the female sex was governed by a gallimaufry of primal impulses, dim suppositions, deranged theories, overheard scaps of conversation, half-remembered pieces of advice, and fragments of no-doubt exaggerated anecdotes that amounted to rank superstition.

That's how most men, and I suspect most women, learn about the opposite sex, and in terms of sex, themselves until experience tempers the ignorance.

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