I loved her, but while I was in the process of learning that love could not sustain a life, I had yet to learn that love alone could not sustain a relationship. We were both
fresh out of high school, living in a
shithole efficiency on the east side. This was a
blue collar town, and I was all fired up to become some kind of
working class hero. She went along with it, at least initially. Two daring young creatures, hell bent on never realizing our potential, basking in the beauty of the
proletariat.
Work was enjoyable back then. Every hour on the clock underscored my newfound independence. I was still poor, but that didn't matter, that wasn't the point. You could say that I had a problem with authority, and going to college would mean admitting that they were right. I got so caught up in proving that I didn't need anyone that I didn't notice her drifting away.
It began with the short silences. Pauses in the conversation while she contemplated what was formerly understood as true. I should have seen it, I should have asked. But I didn't, and the silences grew. Towards the end, the silences would span days. I just kept chugging along, completely confident in my view of the world- a panorama that failed to include the possibility that the future held value.
I came home one day and she was gone, just like that. All I could do was sit on a milk crate and wonder where she was.
A Nodeshell Rescue