Yes, this is something we all do on a daily basis (hopefully?), but are you doing it efficiently? This node is not pasted out of any handbook, and the content doesn't come from anywhere but my own mind. I actually came up with this idea this morning in - you guessed it - the shower.

(Note: This node is geared toward the male. If you're female, and you have showering tips, please! Node them here!)

Pre-Shower sequence - If your bathroom has an in-ceiling fan vent, use it. It'll cut down on humidity. If you have a medicine cabinet that doubles as your mirror, and it has two sliding mirror doors, open one of the doors. You'll see why later. Make sure you have two clean towels, folded in half twice on your towel rack. Use one of them repeatedly. When it starts to gain an odor, toss it in the laundry and start using the other. Undress. If you live alone (or your housemates don't mind), toss your clothes in the laundry before getting in the shower.

Do NOT get in the shower before turning on the water. Turn the water on before you get in. Let it run for 30 seconds or so, just so you can adjust the temperature to where you like it. Once the temperature reaches your preference, get in.

Wash top to bottom - Believe it or not, gravity can either help you get clean, or keep you from getting clean. If you clean yourself bottom-up, all the dirt you're washing off will just run down your body and collect in the areas that are already clean. If you wash top to bottom, gravity helps you out by moving the dirt AWAY from the clean areas. Shampoo First! Oil and water don't mix well, so you'll want to shampoo your hair first. Let all the oil from your hair run down your already dirty body. It'll be cleaned later.

1. Shampoo - Obviously, you'll want to choose a shampoo that you like, and that is right for your hair. I use Herbal Essences because I like the smell, and it reminds me of Britney Spears. (See Tip #4.) Squeeze a small amount of shampoo into the palm of your hand, and put the bottle away. Rub your palms together ONCE, and run the shampoo through your hair. Don't use your palms to lather - use your fingertips. You'll want to massage your scalp while at the same time, making sure the shampoo gets to the most hair. (If you use your palms, it only gets the upper clump of your hair.) Rinse in sections. (The bottle suggests "repeat", but that's just so you use more shampoo than you have to, and then in turn, buy more.)

2. Soap - I personally don't use bar soap anymore, but if you want to, I recommend Ivory. I just like the smell. Anyway, I use Zest body wash. If you're into the body wash thing, steer clear of those stupid bath sponge things. You end up wasting more body wash than you should. Go to the store, and buy yourself a 4 pack of normal dish sponges. Open the pack, take one out (your favorite color), and put the other three under the sink. Since this sponge is actually more like a "bar" of soap, it's more efficient. Squeeze a small amount of body wash across the sponge, spread evenly across a single surface. Fold the sponge in half with the body wash side in, and let it run under the water for a couple of seconds. Proceed to use it on your body like.....well, like a sponge.

3. Ice Water - If you have a little time on your hands, prepare a bucket of CLEAN ice water before you get in the shower. Use this to rinse your sponge while taking a hot shower. It's quite refreshing.

4. Masturbate - If you're so inclined. (Don't masturbate while shampooing! If you're gonna do it, do it FIRST.)

Dry off in the shower - If you have a bath mat, throw it down, but don't step on it yet. Grab the towel from inside the shower (if possible), and start drying off there. Towel yourself off well. Dry the soles of each foot before stepping on the bath mat. (This will prolong the mat's cleanliness.) Finish drying while standing on the mat.

Hygiene - Your mirrors are fogged up, right? Most people need the mirror to brush their hair and teeth, and to get dressed. Crack the bathroom door to let the remaining humidity out, and close the sliding medicine cabinet door you opened before you got in the shower. Wow! The other side isn't fogged up! Proceed to use the mirror as you would normally. (If you don't have a sliding mirror door, keep a small hand towel handy. Wipe the mirror down after the bathroom door is opened.)

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